Karma with Dharma

Any idea, intention, thought or deed is Karma i.e., the Act. If you look at it closely you will realize that majority of our karma is creation of our thoughts and ideas that keep invading our mind again and again. Every such karma(cause) embraces within, its hidden fruit(effect). This means karma and its fruit cannot be separated for any individual. Breathing, eating, sleeping, walking, talking etc all are karma. Thinking is the biggest karma. When we get a thought in our mind the universe starts to receive and starts working towards it. If that thought persists in our mind it becomes reality but if we start having doubts about result of that thought, it fails.

Karma can be classified into Sanchit (past accumulated Karma), Prarabdh(karma being experienced in present lifetime) and Kriyaman(karma which will bear fruit later). Thus karma consists of all our actions or thoughts not only in this birth but also all previous births put together. Karma cannot be erased. Karma cannot be avoided or changed. It can be exhausted only by experiencing it. You pay your past debts and be free.

No karma can produce absolutely good result and no karma can produce absolutely bad results. An action can be good for one person and at the same time it may be having a bad impact somewhere else in this universe. We should try and perform that type of karma which produces maximum good result and minimum bad result. It is here Dharma comes into picture. Karma performed with Dharma will do the trick.

Dharma is said to be the righteousness which results in maximum benefit for the person concerned as well as the society. Human beings have to live collectively and perform day to day karma. Therefore, Dharma-Karma would be that action, thought, idea which gives benefit to the subject as well as to the society in general. This means that we will have to keep a watch over all our thoughts.

Controlling of mind - If the thought is not positive, we have to discard it immediately otherwise it will start to manifest itself. Mind cannot remain idle. It has to think and think which is its very natural function. Wise men have said that we should focus our thoughts on God. Chanting God's name is well known in our scriptures but we always feel that in modern society having beads in our hands and chanting god's name does not go with our social image. Also we feel that this kind of activity should be done in old age, after retirement. But NO! NO! NO! What will be left of our life at that age.

Why not we start and do it today with little modification. Everytime we find we are bit free (that's the time mind starts to play), we should mentally start chanting God's name (any God we believe in). This way our mind will get a direction and its energy will be channelised positively and keeping with your modern image the outside world will not even know what your mind is doing. The biggest benefit is that no negative thought will cross your mind because mind is already busy in something of greater value. After some time, when you start feeling the benefits of channelising your mind like this, you will not even bother what the world thinks and your life will reap the benefits of positive thoughts.

It is true that the quality of our external life depends upon how healthy we are internally. And our internal health depends upon our basic thoughts. Thoughts are the starting point for any event, incidence and happenings in our life. We thus create our own reality.

If we follow Dharma before performing a Karma, life would be on right track. For following Dharma we have to make our thoughts as well as ideas very pure. We have to understand that every thing pervading this universe has emanted from one source and We all are children of that one same divine source or energy which we call God. In fact, that tiny spark of God is within each of us. It is very difficult to understand this if we do not have proper guidance. But if we are keen, our inner divine consiousness itself takes us in right direction, right place and at right time. Our thoughts create our reality.

Therefore, if in our thoughts we have sought guidance and help from God and repeatedly we are seeking it with full faith and are waiting patiently to receive it, the universe will set out in motion to bring the same to us when we are ready and fit enough to receive it. Why do we have to wait to get old to receive it. Why not now? Once we imbibe this in our day to day life all our Karma will be in accordance with Dharma and everything will happen just the way we( the God) willed it.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

Living Angels

When we are on earth, time to time, God sends unseen as well as living Angels to help us fulfil our purpose of coming to the earth. These angels surround us during times of distress. They offer us their shoulder to take respite in times of trouble and make us mentally strong to be able to cope with our stress. Our parents are our first living angels. They stand by us unconditionally. A true and loving angelic parent will always put the needs of its child before own needs. They understand the mood and nature of their child and accept them as they are and do not complain. They thank God for sending such a beautiful child in their life and continue to lend their unconditional support to their child through out their lives without asking anything in return. God bless our parents who always understand our woes even before we could utter a word to them. They standby and support their child like a grand shield through thick and thin. I am truly lucky to have such parents in my life for whom I am the centre around which their whole life and existense revolves. Their main aim in life is see that their child - their God given responsibility - is happy and content and God bless them they do not ask me to do anything for them in return. I cannot ever imagine if this debt can ever be repayed.

Only way this debt can be repayed is that I also reciprocate their love and affection unconditionally and pass on this divine quality of unconditional love to my own children. For parents, their children are Angels - their source of joy - their purpose of enjoying life while at the same time fulfilling the mission of life i.e., self realisation and God realisation. It is said that once you have good solid support on your home ground half the battle is won. Then you can take on the whole world because your foundation being sound and secure.

However, when I look around I find many such children and parents between whom this unconditional love doesnot flow freely. How hard and tough life!!! How insecure both the parties are. It would be great if these people developed the angelic qualities in themselves and spread love and security around atleast for family members. Afterall, we get those very souls as our relatives in this lifetime with whom we have some balance karma to settle from the previous births.

Apart from parents, siblings and relatives we find more living angels in friends we make during our lifetime. Here also a true angel would be that friend who loves you unconditionally and doesnot even question you if you have let him down because he doesnot expect anything from you in return of his support and help. Purpose of unconditional love is to multiply its magnitude and spread this love as wide as possible. I am really thankful to God for giving me some real good friends as Angels. One of them has stood by me for the last 20 years and during my recent crisis while most of my friends turned out to be'mere acquaintances' and started avoiding me lest their lives doesnot get 'infected' by my tragedy, this friend kept in touch and not even once complained that I was not calling her. She understood my state and tolerated my indifference and is patiently waiting for me to come to terms with my loss in my own time. This is an unconditional support from a living angel when even so many relatives backed off. Apart from this I have three other known Angels at my work place who help me in understanding the spiritual lesson arising out of my tragedy. I do hope and wish that I am also an Angelic friend to someone.

So many times, in our day to day lives, we come across strangers who act as living angels. These are people who help us in so may different and wide ranging ways because they love humanity as whole and do not want anything untoward happening to anybody around them. For example, these angels could help us in finding way if we are lost, render their valuable advice without any fees, alert us of any danger lurking in dark, take an accident victim to nearby hospital, let go off their taxi for you so that you can reach airport in time, warn us of consequences of our action because they have experienced it themselves and now do not want others to suffer, return you your lost mobile, wallet, books, credit cards etc. etc. The aim of these angels is to feel good and spread goodness around.

We come across such angels not just by accident. It is God, who brings them around us. These are actually God sent angels to help and support us. Let us try and become such living angels ourselves. Lets make it a habit to help atleast one person a day with an act of kindness. When we respond to someone with kind words, when we listen to someone patiently, when we offer our services without any selfish reasons - these all actions amount to angelic acts of God through us. I pray to God to make me his instrument and through me help as many people as possible while living out my life on this earth. May God make me worthwhile for the whole mankind.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

What is Goodness

Badness is like filthy smelly gas that spreads easily, quickly and covers a vast area space. In today's world, people are more attracted towards this smell which fills every nook and corner of their lives. All media reports cover negativity in the most elaborate possible manner. Be it gruesome murder, tragic natural disaster whatever. The focus is mostly on how things are not working or wrongly working because it is considered as a effective marketing technique and also brings 2 minute fame for the persons involved. Next day people forget the wickedness because a brand new negative incident/ accident is ready to be reported for further postmortem by viewers/ readers. One gets a feeling that world is most unsafe and horrible place to live in and if we are surviving, it is nothing short of miracle. But hang on.

Goodness is like a refreshing fragrance that spreads slowly and is able to cover only short distance. Not all can see, read, think or notice it. One has to be sensitive enough to catch this fragrance, to feel its essence because negativity is so widespread it completely blocks this delightful perfume from reaching us. The world is surviving today because of this widespread goodness. And this is a Good News.

Thankyou God and Thanks my angels. I pray that you make us sensitive enough so that we can feel and inhale this beautiful refreshing natural essence of Goodness and become a part and creator of more Goodness. Let us come together and spread more goodness through positive intentions, actions and above all POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Amen.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

Thanks my Angels

Sometime ago, I read a book by Dr Doreen Virtue on Angel Numbers and was hooked to it. Suddenly, it was making sense. So very often I had seen a car pass by with licence plate no. as 4444, 7777 etc. I would look at clock suddenly and would see time 11:11. I now began to understand that this way my angels were speaking with me. By showing me these nos. they were trying to get my attention to them. Every no. had a different meaning and message from my angels. I just had to fine tune in to understand the message and the significance it had in my present life. As time passed, the puzzle became easy to solve.

As a human being, we see and believe only those things which are visible to us, about which we have learnt and read in books, scientifically proven otherwise we do not believe in them. But after losing my elder child, I understood something different. My sixth sense was communicating with me. In one of my dreams I heard a message from a voice that said 'Just because you cannot see, it doesnot mean that it doesnot exist'. Yes these Angels exist. My own conscience lets me know that I am getting communication from that unseen side. And I am sure I am not going nuts.

Everyone comes into this world and creates own reality. Each and every experience opens another level of understanding in us. Tougher the experience, higher the understanding. Loss of my son, awakened me to understanding why I was suddenly felt some sort of energy around me in the room even when it was not visible. Everything would be perfectly fine and working and suddenly the ceiling fan in the room would stop for a second (without anyone touching the switch) and would start revolving again on its own. In earlier days, I used to take it as voltage fluctuation but no more. How come my computer, TV and everything was working fine. Why did other electronic system did not react to voltage fluctuation, if it did happen. I felt that this energy around us can easily manipulate the energy of electronic items. The more I understood this and started thanking my Angels (my departed son, SaiBaba, God - the spirit), the more it started happening.

My husband would get a call from me on his mobile and when he would call back, I would be surprised that I did not even touch my mobile at that time and when he would again check up his mobile he would not find any missed call from me. But it did happen. So who did it?????

I realised that more I muttered a 'thanks' to my Angels for doing this to us, the more it happened. Noticing so many triple and master nos. and time everyday was one of them. It is just a matter of learning to first believe, then understand and later to communicate with our unseen angels. I believe they respond only when asked or requested for otherwise they leave us alone and come up to communicate with us only when we are in a state of shock or grief because at that time a human being is totally in awe and in surrender to this Universe. Afterall, I noticed my angels only when I was in grief. But why wait for grief if one can learn to communicate with them during times of happiness. Have you ever noticed that you were thinking of some song lyrics and when suddenly you turn on the stereo or switch on the TV, that very same song is being played or telecast and you attribute it to your intuition.

One has to experience it to believe it and for that one has to be sensitive enough to notice these paranormal things happening in our daily lives everyday - things which do not have any logical explaination. In another dream, I got another message 'Universe is full of knowledge, you just have to access it' . This gave me a validation that I was on right track. Universe was offering me so much information. I had just to tune in my conscience frequency to try, decipher and understand the hidden message.

I would stand in front of this Plumera flower tree in my backyard and request my unseen Angels to drop a flower right in front of my eyes. I waited but it did not happen. Next day I gave it five minutes of time to let the flower drop on its own. It did not happen I went inside home and had to come back later due to some work in that area. I was looking at the tree and it happened. The plumera flower fell on its own and there was no breeze at all. I thanked my angels and learnt to give them time to fulfil my wish. One year later, now everytime I stand under this tree, Plumera drops on its own. Universe has heard my silent wish and is fulfilling the same just the way I wanted it. I understood that between making a wish and manifestation of that wish there is a time gap sometimes it is very short and sometime its longer but every wish a human makes does manifest itself in totality. And I never forget to thank my Angels for taking note of my every wish.

Till date, Angels have heard so many of my prayers and fulfilled so many of my tiny, silly wishes regarding my personal, materialistic and spiritual needs that I am absolutely sure that there is an unseen power in this universe which takes note of all my actions, intentions and thoughts (yes angels communicate easily through thoughts). I am important in this Universe and I am being taken care of and being loved by those beautiful angels out there. I thank my angels for making their presence known to me.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

PS: Angels are all those loving souls which may or may not be visible to human eyes. They are God's we worship. As Hindu, my angels or ascended masters are SaiBaba, Hanuman, Ram, Durga, Krishna, Shiva, Parvati, Ganpathi. Our departed loved ones also become our Angels and look after us from that side. As we are not spiritually grown enough, angels communicate mostly through symbols, signs, numbers, manipulating or co-inhabiting with nature, animals(pets), electronic items and above all through 'thoughts'. All Angels understand us what we are actually. They know our past, present and future and work in unison with Universe for our own Good.

Coping with Grief

Its been more than a year since I lost my elder son in a road accident and my life has been changed forever. I know it will never be same again as it used to be when we were all together. My loss has 'awakened' me to so many realities of life and afterlife. Death was a taboo topic for discussion. Everyone is scared to talk and discuss about death. This is a topic we all avoid lest it might touch our life. But once it touched my life in this manner, death does not bother me at all. I have come to understand in last one year that only thing that is real in life is death. Death is a time when we finish our education in this world and go back HOME - our real Home. That is why I never say my son died. No. No. he is still alive somewhere on the other side. He has just changed his form from physical to energy. He has passed from earth dimension to heaven dimension just like we go from one room to another. He is just few feet away only I cannot see him but my solace is that he can still see me and listen to me - not only my words but also my thoughts. How wonderful is that.

My loving son is in such a beautiful place while we are still here waiting for our chance to turn the leaf and fly over to meet him right under God's light - where there is no pain, fear, competition, terror, jealousy, lack, hate, punishment - A place which has nothing but pure love, abundance, bliss and joy. After death, we pass over to a place which lies hidden behind a veil in different dimension and at different level of vibration. Once a human discards his body, only energy part is left which is always alive and which never dies. We all know it by name of 'soul' or 'atman'. The soul goes to the level that matches with its vibration. By appearing alongside Shirdi SaiBaba (my chosen Guru) in my vision during meditation, my son has conveyed to me the High Level he has reached. What more can a mother ask for. I always wanted the best for him in this world and he has got the best in that world too. I am proud to be his Mom whom he fondly called Maa.

Over the year, he has made his presence felt to me and his father at so many occasions. I have come to understand that he is in a position to look at us and our day to day lives. He guides us like an Angel and helps us to arrive at various decisions we need to take all the time. Our son has become our father now. Though he lived with us physically for 18 years only yet he has left his indelible mark in our lives forever. He continues to communicate with us from the other side. These signs of communications were so subtle. It has taken me sometime to understand this method of communication. But today it is great to know that my son continues to be by our side and only grouse is that we cannot see him. I ask him and he replies. I ask for a sign of his presence and he gives it.

Prior to this I had no idea about this close link between these two sides of the Universe. This earthly life was beginning and end of everything for me. But no more. There is so much outside and away from this earth which is far more beautiful, powerful and unthinkable. It gives me great comfort to know that my son now lives in that fabulous place which is our permanent Home. With his guidance and help, I too, shall learn my lesson I came to learn on this earth, and depart to be greeted by him at the doors of heaven. God bless you my dear son. Maa loves you forever.

Vandana Ritik

What is Prarabdh (our Destiny)

Soul - A soul has to take on a body made up of five elements to come to this earth. It is said that soul has to take birth to learn and to experience each and every aspect of human emotion without forgetting its original state i.e, purity, love and bliss. It is through this human life that a soul can finally merge with the holy divine Supreme from which it was separated millions of years ago. In every birth, the soul strives to reach the perfection so that it can get enlightened and become aware of the truth about oneness of the universe i.e., ALL IS ONE. All souls are the tiny part of that Supreme Divine Power thereby implying that all souls have that tiny spark of Supreme Spirit within. However, after taking human birth, in ignorance, the soul cannot recall its original state, gets entangled in the earthly enjoyments and forgets its mission of self realization and subsequently the God realization.

Karma - In its human form the soul cannot sit idle. It performs various karmas to get on with the life, becomes attached to materialism over and above spiritualism. Whether the karma is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is immaterial. The universal law takes note of all the actions a soul performs to carry out its earthly existence. It is said that all such karmas accumulate and become Sanchit Karma(Accumulated Karma). It is said that all our karmas are recorded and stored in our Akashic records. A soul cannot merge with the spirit unless it has worked out the cause and effect of its Karma because universal law functions flawlessly and impartially. When the soul is reborn again, it brings with it some portion out of this Sanchit karma to work out in the present birth. This portion of karma is called Prarabdh. It is said that seventy five percent life of a soul is preordained and a soul has no say in it. Soul has to bear it whether it brings wordly happiness or worldly sadness. For the balance twenty five percent life the soul can use its God given freewill which creates Kriyaman Karma(Active Karma). These kriyaman karma also result in accumulating more Sanchit karma.


Prarabdh - Outcome of Prarabdh are those happenings in the souls earthly life which happen without any or little effort. Soul feels happy when it gains materialistic comforts, pleasures and position in life but it gets totally baffled when it loses the very same possessions unexpectatedly, without any explainable reason. Soul does not realize that this is the fruit or effect of cause of its Prarabdh in this lifetime. For example, we find a good human being doing all the best for the world but yet suffering from a deadly disease, a selfish person getting success in almost any activity it undertakes. All this is happening due to Prarabdh of these souls


Imagine how it could be when different souls come together in a lifetime and form a family. Each soul has its own Prarabdh and its own individual journey. But universal law is perfect. It arranges the soul groups so affectively that one soul’s Prarabdh matches with the Prarabdh of other souls. Thus souls living in a family life not only perform their respective earthly duties but also work out their Prarabdh together. This way they keep coming back on earth again and again, learn their lessons and help each other to work out their balance karmas till their last earthly desires has been fulfilled. The soul discards its human body once its Prarabdh of current lifetime is worked out completely. However, Maya plays such a strong role that it takes ages for an ignorant soul to work out all its karma and realize that the Supreme Divine Power is nowhere else but within.

How to work out Karma - The biggest question is how can the effect of Karmas be effaced? Man's actions or karmas are the manifestations of his thoughts. Karma is any action, thought, feeling, emotion generated by mind of a Man. The mind, by projecting thoughts to sense-organs, enjoys pleasures. It, more or less, identifies itself with these thoughts and pleasures. At that time, it does not think of any thing else. In actual, the earthly thoughts and impulses should be converted into the zeal for securing internal bliss and happiness after attaining a perfect balance between materialism and spiritualism. In simple terms, soul must perform duties required to be performed in its earthly lifetime with a sense of detachment i.e, without feeling sad about losses and without feeling elated about gains. But then it is easier said than done.

Meditation - Meditation is one way for the soul to connect to the higher self. Shirdi SaiBaba advised mankind to look inwards. The soul should find a quiet place, close eyes and meditate. The purpose is to withdraw all the five sense inwards, make them inactive because these senses have been given to the soul to see, hear, taste, touch and enjoy the external world only. The practice of meditation in solitude consists in reverting and raising internal spark of the soul to try to reach the high self. It is said that the seat of that spark is at midpoint behind the eyes called Third Eye or Krishna / Christ Consciousness. When such a condition begins to supervene to some extent, as a result of performing the meditation practices, the working of Karmas, both internally and externally, is automatically enfeebled. On getting some bliss and joy internally, and on witnessing the love, grace and mercy of the Supreme Being, the meditators’ mind is, of itself, detached from the world and its pleasures. The pleasures of the world become insipid. The situation is the same, however, its effect on the meditators mind changes. The soul finds peace in all the situations it finds itself in whether good or bad, it doesnot matter anymore.

After this, the longing for progress in meditation, and higher and higher bliss, goes on increasing. Worldly desires are curtailed. The soul always gives priority to the will, grace and mercy of the Supreme Being in whatever he does. It subordinates its desires to the will of the Supreme Being. Thus the soul is entangled in Kriyaman(active) Karmas very little or not at all. This cuts short the chain of its Karmas.

Prarabdh Karmas, which are unfolding in this very life will be very much mitigated by the grace and mercy of the Divine Spirit. This way the soul is able to withdraw from the eyes, it goes on getting detached from the body and the world. In the wakeful state, the seat of the spirit is behind the eyes. It is here that pains and pleasures are felt and Karmas are performed. Therefore, as the spark of soul is withdrawn from here with the help of spiritual exercises, pains and pleasures cease to be felt. In this way, the effect of Prarabdh Karmas is lightened.

As to the Sanchit Karmas, that are stored in Akashic records (mind-sky/ collective universal consciousness) in the form of seed-impressions. They will fructify in a future life. As the soul penetrates these records in its ascent to higher regions, the Sanchit Karmas appear in the form of thoughts and impulses. They come into play for a short while only and are obliterated and finally the Sanchit karma are also cleared off.

If one has the grace of Sadguru (special messengers of God like Jesus or Saibaba), it will not take long for a soul to achieve the desired results. With Guru/ God’s grace, the soul realizes that meditator, object of meditation all are ONE.

Bhakti (devotion) - As per Sai Satcharita (book containing life and teachings of Shirdi SaiBaba) taking the road of devotion ( towards any one particular God of your choice) is the easiest way to get free from the Karmas. A mind cannot sit idle but if we give it some wise thought, say, chanting ‘Sai Sai’ (you can substitute this with name of God you believe in) always, get rid of feeling of doership and surrender all our actions, thoughts and ourselves to our God, we have taken our first step towards working out our karma fast. Saibaba(God) will work internally and remind the soul of its purpose of taking human birth. This doesnot mean that the soul will not have to work out the Prarabdh. Saibaba(God) will not come in the functioning of the universal law but will make the soul strong enough that it will not feel the effect of Prarabdh i.e, soul will not be ecstatic when it gains and will not feel depressed when it suffers. God or spirit guides and angels will grace us with strength necessary to work out our Prarabdh easily. This is what we mean when we say that God works out the karma of devotees. But then are we willing to work for ourselves, absolve ourselves of our Prarabdh the way Baba(substitute with the name of God you believe in) has advised us.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

Meaning of Devotion

I am a simple person and at first instant I feel ‘Devotion’ is nothing but ‘Bhakti’. However, thinking seriously I feel that though ‘devotion’ sounds such a simple word but it is so profound and has such deep meaning that after looking up all dictionaries on Web, I am still not sure whether I got the true meaning of this one single & simple word namely ‘Devotion’. One could say that devotion is ‘pure unconditional love without expecting any return’ like a mother is devoted to her child, a wife is devoted to her husband and a son/ daughter is devoted to his/ her parents. And then there is devotion of a Bhakta to his/her deity. This devotion is so very different from the aforementioned devotion because a Bhakta worships his God with the belief that he exists and is taking care of him without even a single meeting with the God. I consider myself as a Shirdi Sai Baba devotee and am still trying to learn right method of devotion. To me, Devotion means - my relationship with SaiBaba which has developed over the years.

When I was a child, I had this fascination for this particular filmstar. I would leave all my work and rush to TV every time his movie or song was being telecast. I thought I was so crazily devoted to this actor. Then suddenly one day I felt disgust at my behaviour and a thought came into my mind. Why am I wasting my time, energy and thoughts on a person I don’t know and haven’t even met. Simultaneously, I thought that if I could be even half as crazy for God Almighty, as I am for this actor, then I would be so lucky.

I remember as a kid, I had to accompany my parents to Shiva temple everyday which I did not like. But today I am very thankful to them for showing me the right path at such an early age. When I got married my husband would take me to Saibaba Lodhi Road temple. I would bow my head down before Baba and silently talk to him ‘Baba I don’t know anything about you. I am coming here to you because my husband is coming here. If I could know something more about you and your Leela’s then things would be different’. Luckily, after few days, we had guests in our home who spoke about Baba so lovingly and also discussed their experiences of reading ‘Sai Satcharita’. Internally, I wanted to have this book. Lol! I found one brand new Sai Satcharita in our home library itself. I read it in seven days and my life changed altogether thereafter. This was Baba’s first response to my sprouting ‘devotion’.

I felt myself drawn towards Shirdi Sai Baba. I felt Shiva, Krishna, Durga, Ganapathi, Hanuman – all are in Sai and Sai is in all. I understood meaning of ‘Oneness of Gods’. I became ‘devoted’ to Sai and started visiting Baba temples, read material available on him. I just started loving Baba. Once I saw a beautiful Saibaba murti left by a devotee under a Peepal tree outside the temple because it was slightly damaged ( one portion of middle finger was broken and base of stone on which Baba was sitting was slightly chipped off). I just could not stop myself. I picked up the Murti, hugged it and brought home and kept it in my temple. If I were to suffer a fracture my family won’t discard me. So what one devotee discarded as inauspicious became a very auspicious blessing for another devotee. Does devotion has different meaning for different devotees. I am blessed that Murti is still in my home and I can feel the change. Earlier Baba’s face looked grim but over the years, the murti has got luster and smile on face. I am very attached to that Murti. I feel immense peace when I hug this Murti in my good as well as bad times. I talk to Murti as if Baba were alive in this Murti. Today it is placed at a prime place in my living room because I consider Saibaba as a family member- the head of the family. Sometimes I wonder if this is devotion or a crazy act.

One day I wanted to visit Saibaba temple very earnestly and requested my elder son to take care of his younger brother for atleast one hour so than I can go to temple. He agreed but also added ‘SaiBaba is in your Home Maa. Why do you need to go to temple’. Something hit me that day in those innocent words. I thought my ‘devotion’ towards Baba was actually ritualistic. Baba is inside me I just have to look inward and I’ll find Shirdi & Baba all inside me. I am also part and parcel of that ‘Oneness of Universe’. Thus Baba was working on me internally.

And Why not, even Baba has said that there is no distinction between God, Guru and Devotee. Now ‘devotion’ had another meaning for me – True love for Baba and considering whole creation as Baba. I soon realized it was easier said than done. Though I could now compose and sing Baba’s Bhajans, participate in his Satsang but internally I was still expecting response from Baba in some form or the other. Not that Baba was not responding. Baba always responded but sometime when I did not understand this response I would feel Baba is not looking at me. All in all I was expecting Baba’s response in return of my devotion. I was praying to God, thanking him but was also seeking favours in return because I always felt that I was a good devotee - going to God in good times and not bothering him during my bad times. I was exercising choice, discrimination in my ‘devotion’ to Baba. But still my internal communication with Baba continued. I conversed with Baba almost most of the day. I always felt him beside me and I was so satisfied in this feeling that I thought with Baba around me nothing can go wrong. Baba is the protector. Afterall, I was not seeking ‘big’ favours from him anymore. I thought I may not be the best devotee of Saibaba but still I was a good devotee.

Then came the biggest jolt in my life, a real test of my devotion, an eye (internal) openor. I lost my older son (18 years) in a sudden road accident. Few days before his passing Baba had appeared in my dream lying on the ground with a white cloth covering his body. I found my son’s lifeless body in similar position in AIIMS mortuary. What was Baba trying to tell me? Suddenly, I felt my whole devotion had gone for a toss. It was so very painful for me. I could think of nothing but my lost son and my feeling of utter despair at my big loss. Where was my ‘devotion’? I was complaining. Why did Baba not save him?.

And did Baba respond? Yes. All the way. I feel him much more closer to me now. I started reading material available on afterlife, NDEs, ADCs etc. As I got more and more insight into my tragedy I felt foolish for blaming Baba for this mishap in my life. Sai Satcharita is full of stories about Prarabdha and now I was actually understanding their meaning. Practical was absolutely different from theory. This ‘pain’ and ‘separation’ from my son awakened me to entirely new understanding of soul (me), spirit (Baba) and spirituality which I had understood only at intellectual level till now. Baba gave me answers to all my queries through so many methods including visions and dream visits. I was seeing my life in bits and pieces while Baba knew all past and future. Baba, very kindly, made me realize and understand that my son was with him – all safe, sound, happy and blissful. What more can a mother ask for? Baba gave to my son after his 18 years of earthly life what I have not been able to gain even after 40 years.

Nine months down my tragedy, I seem to have understood a new meaning of word devotion. Now, devotion to me is loving SaiBaba, no matter what happens in my life, with complete faith and trust and without any expectation and return at all. Devotion springs from Love and complete confidence in God. Devotion is my relationship with SaiBaba. I pray that Baba keeps holding my hand all the time for the fear that if I hold his hand, I might lose my grip when faced with sudden upheaval in life. But SaiBaba will never let go of this grip.

Idol worship, visiting temples, reading religious books, performing religious ceremonies are some acts of Devotion. Complete devotion could be something like - continuous offering of the whole of you – mind, thoughts, actions – with supreme love to the God who is creator of all animate and inanimate things. I cannot offer parts of my life to God. I have to offer all my past, present and future - my entire being & existence to God. I cannot measure Devotion. All the time I feel something is lacking in my devotion. That others are more devoted than me. That I still have to refine my devotion towards my Baba. I have to live for Saibaba while simultaneously fulfilling all my worldly duties and responsibilities efficiently. I have to believe and follow all the words that SaiBaba ever spoke. Only SaiBaba knows what is my qualification in his Darbar.

Devotion could mean anything to anybody. To me, Devotion means my relationship with SaiBaba. As this relationship evolves, so does my devotion to Baba and it continues to evolve. I have no idea where this relationship is going to end for I have surrendered all my intellectual and spiritual learning at the holy feet of SaiBaba. I feel that I don’t know anything. My Sadguru SaiBaba knows everything. He has taken care of my son, sorry his own son, in heaven. He will take care of me and my family too on earth as well as when we cross over. But I have to continue to strive, to strengthen my devotion to SaiBaba. How? SaiBaba will grace me with his holy guidance from time to time as and when HE wills it for he alone knows what is suitable for an ignorant person like me.


Vandana Ritik

Heritage of Shirdi Sai
New Delhi