Prayer to Shirdi Saibaba helps

Prayers to the Supreme Divine have all the strength in the world. Prayers can even avert a warlike situation. Prayers are healing. Prayers are rewarding. Prayers are source of peace, joy and happiness. Situation could be the same yet prayers have the power to help us remain unruffled amidst troubled times. 

Prayers help us look at same situation with different perspective. Prayers can get us anything we desire earnestly and if we add emotions to this prayer, the desired result will definitely manifest in our lives. Therefore, we should be very careful what we are praying for and what would be the consequences of such manifestation in our lives. Yes, there are consequences because this world is functioning as per certain Laws, with which most of us are not familiar with. 

Each manifestation in our life has a reason behind it. If we pray for money with all the intensity and add emotions to this prayer, the money would manifest but it could be in form of a health insurance policy due to our own illness. This is result of thoughtless prayer. Thus, wise have advised us to leave the result in the hands of God while keeping our faith and patience active.

Our intelligence is limited but God knows all. Even when we are praying for others, we should request God to help them in their own highest and best interest. We do not know what is good for us or for others. It helps if we pray and then leave the results in the hands of God believing that whatever happens would be in highest and best interest of all concerned. We do our best possible karma and let the Supreme Power decide what is best for us. With this attitude, the Divine grace starts flowing. Sometimes God delays because HE wants us to learn to face the problem and become stronger. At times we do not get some object of desire because its presence would be harmful to us. We need to trust God. We could deserve something better if God did not bless us with what we were so madly after. I did not get my much deserved promotion at job, it hurt me and I left my job. My faith in God has helped me move forward. I believe, HE has some better work for me. Today I have no job but God has ensured sufficient flow of finances, peace of mind and no hectic schedules. I work at my own pace and whatever I do gives me happiness because at the back of my mind I know God is working on me. I am no longer struggling because I trust Him and let Him take me whichever path he wants to take me. I am HIS instrument. I pray to God to help & guide me in my highest and best interest.

What is Prayer - Prayers are very powerful. Any thought, word, action directed towards the Supreme Power, for whatever reason, is said to be the prayer. Prayer is conversing with God - mental, verbal, religious rituals or even pilgrimage to sacred place is understood as prayer to God. Naam Jaap, Mantra Jaap are all various kinds of prayers. Written expressions of Divine name, His work, His stories, His praises & glory is considered as prayer to God. Surrender of Self to God & doing any selfless service dedicated to Him is also prayer. The omnipresent supreme divine energy is said to be present all around us and therefore HE receives all our prayers, whether we believe it or not. All prayers are heard and it is said that mental prayers are very effective. Distant healing techniques are all about mental visions and prayers carried out for the benefit of others.

Why do we pray - In Indian families, a child learns to say his prayers from infancy state itself. We often hear parents say 'jai karo', Jai Jai etc. A Hindu child is taught to say prayers in form of gayatri mantra, aartis and reading from The Ramayana etc. Lighting lamps and burning incense sticks, dhoop etc are rituals accompanied with this form of prayer. Thus a child learns to remember and address God, the Supreme divine this way. Child learns to pray to God for things of his choice like candies, toys. After some time prayer changes to getting good marks in exams and then for getting admission in good university, then a good job, a decent life partner etc. Thus, for a normal human, prayers change according to the needs of the person. As we grow up, we realise that life is not only about self preservation & procreation but also about self inquiry & subsequent self realisation.

Thus, people pray to God for different reasons. Most of the time, we pray to seek help from God to sort out our worldly difficulties. We are constantly seeking blessings from God through our prayers. Mostly focus is on making things easy for us when faced with tough situations. Some pray as a matter-of-fact - because it is a habit with them. They pray because they have grown up doing that. They do it because it is to be done without fail. Everyday, after shower, they have a routine for prayer before leaving for work. In most of such cases it is more like a formal drill. If going is tough, prayers seem to go intense too. We pray in love. We pray in fear. We pray when we feel threatened. We pray to seek forgiveness. We pray on behalf of our loved ones also. We also pray in awe. Of course, it is the inner intention, reason behind the prayer, which is most important and the Supreme Lord knows it.

Most of the time, people turn towards God when going gets tough, they are under stress and cannot do things their own way. When intelligence of the man fails him, he starts to feel helpless, in that moment of despair, the man turns towards God and says 'Help me God'.

In very few cases, a prayer is said to know the God or to seek the God. It is said that if there were 10 steps between God and the Man, the God walks down nine steps provided the man takes that first step of firm faith and belief towards the God.

In the present scientific and technological society, man has so much pride in his intelligence that he has started seeking proof of God's existence. However, God is not to be seen but to be felt and experienced. This is the very basis of Hinduism. We search for God in visible phenomenon whereas He resides in our own existence. God is eternal and imperishable. The only Truth of this world that EXISTS, rest is illusion (maya) – play of God.

Highest Prayer - At the beginning of the war at Kurukshetra, the great warrior Arjuna is lost and is in grief. He informs about his mental state and prays to Lord Krishna, his charioteer, to take him away and free him from misery because he cannot fight and kill his own family and respected elders. Lord comforts him and tells him why he is confused and reveals the ultimate truth of his own existence and the intricacies of the Cosmic laws. After true understanding, Arjuna sees himself and world around him in new light and fights for righteousness and wins.

Now, Krishna was always with Arjuna. Moreover, Arjuna had faced many tough situations earlier too but how come he did not get this knowledge earlier. The reason is that earlier Arjuna never felt lost. He had pride and he never thought he needed any higher help. He thought himself as capable of doing & facing anything in life. Afterall, he was the greatest warrior and a man of righteousness. His mind and intelligence had failed him. Now he lost faith in himself too and prayed to Krishna that he neither wants his kingdom if he wins and nor wants boon of heaven if he gets killed while fighting. He wants something more - the way out of this miserable situation. Thus, he wanted neither pain nor pleasures but freedom from this kind of situation - permanent happiness, the state beyond pleasure and pain. He was not seeking this knowledge out of curiosity but admitted that he was lost and needed divine help. This situation became a trigger point and the great man's haughtiness crumbled. Now was the right time for Lord Krishna to reveal himself. Arjuna's intense and desperate prayer to save him paved way for Lord to reveal the Supreme knowledge to him because Arjuna needed to be informed what his personality lacked in terms of fulfilment of human life and not as a warfield hero. Arjuna did not know the REAL thing. God revealed to him the narrowness of his human mind and imparted the sublime expanse of highest knowledge. With the strength of his earnest prayer he got elevated to highest level of spirituality. Thus, tough situations, when handled properly may turn as elevation points in our lives too provided we seek divine interference and leave aside our cleverness.

Shirdi SaiBaba said that barring our name and body what is left is that feeling of being alive, consciousness, this is Self, the God on whom we should meditate. Ultimately Self meditates on Self and reveals its true nature by lifting veils of dark ignorance and finally the light of knowledge of Self shines brightly. Suddenly all becomes crystal clear. At this stage nothing stands wanted. However, very rarely, someone wants such kind of knowledge. Most of the time, we are seeking favour in respect of worldly objects and position which bring us happiness for a limited time only and this happiness itself is not real but imaginary.

In our moments of silence when we sit down and surrender our thoughts to the Self within us, we connect to the Divine Supreme, within our own depths. This connection provides us energy and shows us the right path. The Self reveals the Self, such is the strength of prayer. God's Grace comes to us in his own way and in his own time. The Supreme is Almighty because he knows each and every one of us inside out. He knows what is best for us. We should be thankful that we Know the One who Knows All. He does not give us what we want but gives us what we need. This is why we need to have Faith in God. We must have the patience to wait for the right time. Because He has heard our prayer even if we said it once and even if we did not say it. He has noted it. Even few moments of sitting in silence in front of the highest Source brings peace, comfort and solace to our hearts.

Prayers for spiritual upliftment bring about great results and have a long lasting effect on our mind, body and soul. Therefore, let us make use of human birth. Let us become the Arjuna(seeker of REAL knowledge & peace) and Pray to Lord to make us happy permanently. Open our hearts to listen to Lord Krishna(our inner consciousness, the Self, the Sai). When we have Lord as our Charioteer, the ultimate bliss is ours for sure.

Vandana Ritik

Noida

Who am I

Shirdi Sai Baba has explained that Barring our body and our name, what is left.  The feeling of being alive.  This is 'I.  This is 'Self'.  The Pure Energy.  The Pure consciousness.  I am 'separate' from body.  I am unlimited consciousness.

This 'separate-ness' is invisible to us.  Its like a 'gold chain' that we have been wearing around our neck  and we forget about its existence. 

How do we realise that Consciousness is separate from body.   That I am separate from body.  I realise this by Knowledge, by Experience.

Separate Subject (Consciousness/Energy/ Brahman) from Object(Body/Physical World/Role in drama)

Body has changed its shape from being fetus to old age but 'I' is still the same - changeless.

Subject perceives and sees the light.   Light falls on 'objects' of the world and 'I' recognises the objects.  On their own the objects are nothing.

Now with this knowledge, separate the consciousness of 'I' from body and the world around it.  Let the mind rest on consciousness for some time in silence.....the mind will lose its fickleness

And this way further light of knowledge will shine through the mind and reveal its true nature.  Practice this regularly and stay connected with the 'I' always.

Vandana Ritik Mulchandani

Covid19 and loss of a Loved one

What a painful time for all those who are losing their innocent family members and loved ones to Covid19 all over the world.  

Losing a loved one is a very painful experience and this single word cannot describe how devastating such a loss is.  Your whole world collapses.  The life as we knew, changes permanently.  There are no doctors to help you handle such a blow.  Its individual journey of enduring, accepting and overcoming.

None can replace our loss. People ask one to move on but that never happens.  One gets stuck up, in life before them and after them.

The pain doesn't go away and it takes unspecified time to be able to hide the pain without showing it. The pain and hurt can be felt anytime. Anything can trigger it.There is no time limit for grief.  We manage to handle it with passage of time depending on our own individual capacity.

Nothing can bring them back who have shed their body garment and their divine soul has left for the real HOME.  So all we do is learn to cope with the grief in best possible way.

Faced with such a huge loss and emptiness, we start searching for answers like 'why me' etc. We find lots of books etc available. Knowledge of the way things work in nature is very helpful. Learning about unseen world beyond what we see tells us that your loved one is not dead after all. They are alive but now in some other dimension. 

We realise, we can meet them one day so we learn to accept our loss peacefully. Moreover,  in between they send us signs of their 'aliveness' by sending ADCs, signals, subtle hints etc. Life becomes liveable to know that all is not lost.

Faith in Supreme is the key here. Love for self is another key. Know and believe that you are special child of God. God knows and is sad to see u in pain. God loves you. You have not been punished at all. This is result of soul agreement u had with them before birth. You made that agreement for special reason which you do not understand right now. And you are feeling lost and hurt. But when that reason would be revealed to you one day, you would be surprised.   One day you would be hugging them soul to soul and rejoicing that you fulfilled such a big mission successfully.  You will be blessed by God for your great courage.

Sacred books of all religions that I have read so far, say the same thing but in different style, actual meaning is the same. This loss you suffered has a reason behind it. No death is an accident. The time of birth and death are fixed even before birth.

Take care of yourself. Spend time with mother nature. Feel your connection to nature. Write a diary note to your loved one every night before sleeping. All your thoughts will be received by them.  In their world, there are no speeches.  The soul understands all human feelings, thoughts and emotions and communicates through thoughts only.  Try to understand their subtle messages.

If you  feel or sense some response from him, trust your instincts and believe it to be from them only. In your vulnerable state you unawares open yourself to subtle universal signals from mother nature.

Avoid company of people who do not understand you or leave you hurt in any emotional way. We lose lot of 'fake' friends' after such big loss. Pass through this pain. Let it flow through u. This is part of your big learning. One won't make such tough soul agreements without special reason. Trust yourself.

Read NDEs, Brian Weiss books, books on afterlife to get a new perspective  etc. Love lives on, it never dies.   Knowledge of afterlife can make you see things in clear perspective and you don't feel the sting.  You survive through it and come out as winner.

Discuss your loved one often.  Don't shun and be open to discussing the life and time of your loved one you lost.  Its healing to discuss them often otherwise you are suppressing and adding on to depression.

Vandana Ritik

What is Faith

NOT KNOWING
IS FAITH

Sometimes we need not know
Why? What? When? Where? How? etc.

WE KNOW
WHO KNOWS

I may not know what to do
but GOD knows what to do
We should be happy n content.
What has started is going to end for sure.

Vandana Ritik
Noida

How does Karmic law works?

Whatever is happening to us in this lifetime is 'effect' - outcome of 'causes' set by us through our inner intentions in our previous lifetime(s). 

All our outer actions, which are visible, our sufferings, traumas, enjoyments, riches or poverty, career, status, fame and fortune and even the food that we eat all are result of our inner intentions (causes) set in motion by us, consciously or unconsciously in previous lifetimes.  Negative thoughts bring negative results while positive thoughts bring out positive results.

Now while enjoying or suffering these effects, what we are feeling and thinking, is creating our new set of causes which will bring out their effect in next lifetime.  Anything unexplanable happening in your life is result of a past karma which you do not remember now.  Good or bad events, all are outcome of our own karmic accounts which are now being settled.

Wise men have, therefore, advised us to face good or bad times in life, in a detached manner.  We should not feel elated or feel pride if we succeed in our endeavors.  Likewise we should not feel depressed or sad if we are faced with calamity in life.  Face all with equanimity - in a state of calmness and self control. 

Know in your heart why this is happening.   Since it is not in your control right now, face it, pass through it.    However, be careful of what you are thinking now because it is charging a new karma.  It is here that we have a free will, to decide how we are going to face the situation and ultimately make our destiny.

Remembering God all the time, while passing through ups and downs of life,  is a perfect way of creating a positive and good karma.  You get what you focus on eventually.

Vandana Ritik

Noida

Natural Judgement is impartial

Nature is always Just. Not even for a moment has it been unjust. Justice that prevails in Law Courts may be unjust at times, but there is nothing unjust in this world. We may notice rich people stealing, rulers following corrupt practices and being ignored or let off. However, they will get result of this behaviour because Nature is Just always and not even for a moment it has been unjust.

The show of this world is being run by this Nature and none has power to interfere in it because all is functioning on the basis of Natural Laws which are universal. Man made laws may be local, social, and biased but Laws of Nature are same for each and all that is manifest in this world and also which is unmanifest. Natural laws do keep track of the unmanifest part of us too. Our inner intents and inner conversations with Self are not hidden by the 'regulator' of the Universe. Everything is being accounted for.

An ignorant person may not want to believe it but it is fact that nothing is in our hands. Our life can be compared to a journey in a train and this train is running on its own. Nothing is going to halt it. What we can do is to simply observe it and whatever happens: let it be. Dada Bhagwan has given a term Scientific Circumstantial Evidence to the natural sequence of events. Whatever happens, one has to let it go. Whether it is right or wrong; none has power to alter it? People do not have energy to run anything at all. when one says one can make a change than he is doing wrong egoism and this will ultimately lead to disputes and mess. If someone does any wrong to you, make him understand and if he doesnot understand, remain silent. Know in your heart that this is nature working.

It is imperative to understand that all disputes and chaos in mind and relationships is caused by 4 evils - anger, pride, deceit and greed - residing within us. The moment one of these evils becomes active in us, it creates difficulties for us. Effort should be made to become aware when any of these raises its head and then take corrective action immediately because they tend to misinterpret the situation for us and take us towards suffering. These 4 evils tell us that this is unhappiness and they misrepresent and mislead us. Otherwise outside, none is at fault in this world. This is why it is said that we are responsible for ourselves. None has power to trouble me. I can create trouble as well as peace for me depending upon my choice.

When someone does anything good/bad to you, watch it silently, know it in your heart that Nature is making these things happen and the people involved are mere 'instruments' being used by the Nature to give back to us what we have given out earlier through our good/bad intents. The 'instruments' have this wrong habit of saying 'I did' or 'you did' actually its working of Scientific Circumstantial Evidences which makes things happen at proper place and time. Even the big natural disasters like Tsunami, earthquakes are an outcome of the precise working of nature. The one meant to survive is saved or sent away a moments before the accident and the one who has to pay back old karmic debts is called at the zero point at the exact time. Sometimes these precise arrangements takes many many years and hence something done lifetimes ago bears fruits lifetimes later.

Human logical mind cannot understand why something unexplained happened unexpectedly. How can a person understand. Because he doesnot remember. We do not remember what we did two years ago, how can we remember what we did consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly lifetimes ago. Money taken on loan in previous life which could not be returned, will have to be returned in this lifetime, whether or not you want. Natural laws are precise and perfectly just for it treats all at par, all are equal and there is no partiality. Even saints say that they cannot interfere in the working of natural laws.

Once we understand the working of nature, it becomes easy to understand that this world is faultless. None is at fault. . Messengers of God have given us the message of non-judgement. If we judge and see fault in someone, it is our own mistake reflecting back at us. The moment we accept others just the way they are and let them be, they will not have power to trouble us again.

The best way to cope with natural laws is to understand them and to obey them.

Vandana Ritik

Noida

Understanding Shirdi SaiBaba Philosophy

Shirdi Sai Baba is a very noble and highly developed Divine Spirit of God WHO took a human form more than 100 years ago and dwelled amongst ordinary souls in order to help them out of their meaningless existence. HE made his philosophy very simple so that ordinary mortals can work upon themselves and get their ultimate salvation. Shirdi Sai Baba is a pure 'Avatar' (perfect soul) who could have had anything but he chose ‘fakiri’(mendicancy) and through his conduct and adopted lifestyle taught ordinary folks the art of loving, living, giving, sharing, caring, enjoying and achieving purpose of taking human body without being selfish. He taught us how we can be in this world and yet be detached from it and still achieve the purpose of taking human birth.

He came to GIVE and SPREAD message of universal LOVE, PEACE, HARMONY, EQUALITY and BROTHERHOOD transcending all kinds of man-made boundaries which separate human from human. GOD is ONE. God is beyond religion. The God was manifest in his form. He called himself Messenger of God.

Hinduism considers the 'Brahman' (universal life force, energy, prana, chi) as the ruler of all, the ultimate One. Sai explained it easily – Barring your body and name, what is left is that feeling of being alive – this consciousness, awareness is You, the SELF. He advised the Believers to work on themselves. Meditate on the SELF (the consciousness) which existed in HIM and everyone alike in order to make them realise that we are not separate but ONE. Says the Advaitin, “ Is not everything Brahman(energy) when the name and form have been removed from it?” “Is not He, the Lord, the innermost Self of everyone?” says the Vishishtadvaitin.

Thus God and Guru are One. Swami Vivekananda has explained it so well, “When any God or other beings are worshipped in and for themselves, such worship is only a ritualistic karma, and as a Vidya(Science) it gives us only the fruit belonging to that particular Vidya; but when the Devas or any other beings are looked upon as Brahman and worshipped, the result obtained is the same as by the worshipping of Ishvara (Supreme Divine)” Shirdi SaiBaba told us to destroy this wall(of ignorance) that separates US(the mortals) from HIM(the immortal Self) that exists within each tiny cell, atom around us.

Saibaba advised his devotees to pursue single pointed devotion.  Worship and Believe in only One God.  Look to your chosen deity as God.  There should be no difference between the Lord you worship and the Supreme.  See your deity in all and all in your deity.  All objects of this world should be looked as the different forms of the Lord we worship. 

He loved people of all religions equally and never interfered with their practices and religious sentiments.  All he wanted that we should 'hold on' to the 'bolster' - the Lord we worship.  Have firm faith and conviction that your Lord is the Lord of Lords.  Respect all but stay stuck with your deity.  This attitude makes things easy for us and takes us on right path of Bhakti Yoga (Yoga of Devotion and Love).  He always uttered 'Sabka Malik Ek' meaning there is only ONE God that people call with different names.

SaiBaba taught renunciation as means to make life simple. This renunciation is nothing but simply offering all the actions to GOD. Leaving off our cleverness and logic and wait and trust HIM for due results.

All the donations Sai received during day, he distributed the same throughout the day and by the end of the day his karma balance was zero. His attachment was NIL.

To achieve the prime object of life, HE advised us to develop Shraddha(Faith) and Saburi(Patience) in ourself, so that we can be free from the clutches of delusion(Maya) of this materialistic world which is holding us back life after life – separating us from our Source – the Creator – the Brahman.

Sai teachings were simple and yet so comprehensive - Perform the duties of the station of your life sincerely. Leave aside worry. Surrender yourself completely to the God and trust HIM with results. Have firm faith in God/Guru and wait patiently. Whatever happens is ultimately for our good because DOERSHIP is not in our hands. HE knows what is good for us. Thus he is telling us that spiritual life is to be pursued over physical life.

His message still continues and though he is no more in human body but his spiritual existence and power is still being felt by millions. His followers are growing in numbers unceasingly. His following eleven promises/ assurances still hold good provided his followers ACTUALLY believe and REALLY follow them with unshakable FAITH and PATIENCE.

1. No harm shall befall him, who steps on the soil of Shirdi.

2. He who comes to my Samadhi, his sorrow and suffering shall cease.

3. Though I be no more in flesh and blood, I shall ever protect my devotees

4. Trust in me and your prayer shall be answered.

5. Know that my spirit is immortal, know this for yourself.

6. Show unto me he who has sought refuge and has been turned away.

7. In whatever faith men worship me, even so do I render to them.

8. Not in vain is my promise that I shall ever lighten your burden.

9. Knock, and the door shall open, ask and it shall be granted.

10. To him who surrenders unto me totally I shall be ever indebted.

11. Blessed is he who has become one with Me.

Sai Philosophy is so very deep, the deeper we dive into it, the sweeter the nectar we receive as Blessings and Bliss.

Vandana Ritik

Noida

Understanding Free Will??

I don’t know what is God’s Will, its all mystery to me. I do not have enough developed faculties to understand His ways. Only He knows all. Sometimes I feel God wants me to be happy no matter what the situation is. Like a wise parent, God wants me to learn and he gives me his free hand but I have to function within my limits. Now what are my limits? The moment we try to find answers to such queries, we are said to be acting from our ‘ego’ . Wise have advised us to let go off EGO. When ‘E..goes’ than ‘HE’ comes. Paramahansa Yogananda has said that our Will Power is the God within us.

Sadguru Saibaba, my Ascendant Master, has clearly advised his devotees not to take ‘doership’ in their hands. God almighty is the ‘Doer’. Man suffers because he takes doership on himself and thus creates pain and suffering for himself. To over come this defect, all the Masters have time and again advised us to surrender to the Will of God. SaiBaba called it ‘sarvasva sharanagati’ i.e., constant remembrance of Lord’s name.

We have to carry on with our worldly duties but inwardly we must always be aware of who we really are ( Soul ) and offer all our thoughts & deeds to our chosen Guru/God with firm belief that I am a mere instrument, HE is the DOER. Detach yourself from your physical body and watch the show of this world without creating any feeling or emotion. Our inner state must be at peace even when the world is going topsy and turvy.

This way no karma is created. Man suffers because he lives in body consciousness and is thus always thinking of himself as body and identifies himself with the name of his body whereas body, name and the ruler of the body all are separate. In such a state of ignorance, when a man takes doership in his hands and takes credit or discredit of any of his actions, he creates karma. This happens because he thinks himself as body forgetting his true nature (that he is a pure and eternal soul). Such a man has to come back again on earth to reap the seeds of karma he sowed in his previous lifetime in the state of body consciousness.

I have come to understand that man lives in bondage when he is in human body. He is not completely free. He has certain limitations. He can transcend his limits when living in this body he uses his free will to remember constantly 24X7 that he is not this body but much more and is always aware that he is Soul in reality. This makes his ‘bhav’ (intentions) pure and no further karmic seed is sown.

I believe, I am accountable for my inner intentions (bhav) for carrying out any action. I believe that God is always taking into account ‘why’ I am doing something rather than ‘what’ I am doing. And if I am constantly thinking of my true nature, my intentions would always be pure. It is my freewill to choose from which level I want to operate – Soul or Body. If former is chosen than I am working as per God’s free will and the results would be God’s responsibility and thus result would be in my own highest and best interest. However, if I choose to operate from later state, than I create karma and become accountable for my deeds – good or bad – and have to pay for it myself. How can God intervene in the later case because I never thought of him before start of that action.

It is a fact that when we choose to operate from state of soul consciousness than we have to strictly exercise the principle of Shraddha(Firm faith) and Saburi(patience) advised by SaiBaba. Simply because God’s timing cannot always be same as Man’s expected timing. Man has to accept the result as Will of God and is ultimately for his own good.

SaiBaba has advised his devotees to carry on with their worldly duties wisely but always remember HIM and think of HIM. By this he was not referring to his human body and physical form. Baba said that barring your body and name what is left is me. Meditate(think) on that state of being alive(Self) which is present in each and every creation of this Universe. Man was given his freewill to do just this. Once a man does this, the God(knowledge) is revealed to him and he becomes Master himself who then goes out to help others still living in the state of ignorance for innumerable lifetimes.


Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

Choosing right words.

Few days ago, while watching TV, BK Shivani had some really wonderful things to say We have to learn the art of thinking in a different way in order to face difficult situations in life so that we sail through them with ease instead of complaining and creating unnecessary pressure on ourselves. We always have so many complaints with ourselves and the world. If we change ourself the world around us automatically changes. situation could be the same but it won't affect me the way it used to earlier. In our life / relationships

We are faced with 3 options to change our perspective always:

I GET WHAT I LIKE - there is no issue here. eg friends I choose I am free to choose so I like them, my parents may not like since they have a different perspective. But supposing I do not get what I like. What then?

I LIKE WHAT I GET - sometimes when I do not like what i have e.g. relations where I have no choice or events etc. I have to change my perspective to look at it positively - look at it diffferently and say 'I like what I get'.

I DON'T LIKE WHAT I GET - Third painful option is to live with this attitude - well you will never get anything of your liking if you are thinking on these lines. Haven't you seen people around you who are always complaining with everything around them - the world, the weather, the boss. all wrong happens with such people.

Another aspect is choice of words when i say I HAVE TO DO IT since I have no choice. I create stress for my innerself. because HAVE TO word creates pressure on me and ultimately unhappiness.

I have to replace I HAVE TO DO IT with I WANT TO DO IT or I CHOOSE TO DO IT to feel better and maintain a positive outlook for myself atleast -things may not be happening as per my liking but I CHOOSE TO LIKE WHAT I GET BECAUSE I WANT TO. Doing something as per someone's wish (it was my choice in first place) and then complaining is contradictory. When we do it we better do it with positive mind set otherwise it creates negativity first for myself and then in my relations.

The above things taught me that when I change my way of looking at things, my attitude and mindset automatically changes and then even when the situation is the same, I am in peace and in position to handle it with courage without causing any hardship.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

Understanding Shirdi SaiBaba Philosophy on Faith (Shraddha) n Patience (Saburi)

Saibaba advised his devotees to have Shradha and Saburi always.

Sadguru Shirdi SaiBaba often said that ‘Shraddha’(Faith/Trust) and ‘Saburi’(Patience/ Endurance) are mines of virtues. If his devotees could develop these virtues in themselves, they will cross this ocean of worldly existence without the least trouble and easily.

We are devotees of Saibaba. Have we ever truly introspected to check whether we have been able to develop these twin virtues of ‘Faith’ and ‘Patience’ in us?

I often thought that I had Shraddha but I lack in Saburi because I have an impatient personality. But as I introspected, I realized, I did not have true faith either.

Thinking deeply I realized that these two mines of virtues are very deep and what they contain is beyond value. Faith and Patience together hide the formula for our Freedom. If we practice both, we will experience what we came to experience on earth, our aim of taking human birth – the ultimate Sat-Chit-Anand.

Getting intellectual meaning of these two words is easy. We all understand what these words mean. BUT DO WE REALLY PRACTICE? Do we trust SaiBaba like a child trusts his parents and relaxes completely?

If we trust SaiBaba, it means we believe that he will take care of all our problems and help us out of all our so called troubles. We should become completely stress free. Having placed our Faith in SaiBaba means, we are now free from worry, fear, guilt, anxiety, our as well as security of our family, social position etc. Why? Because we have faith in SaiBaba and he is taking care of us. However, we still worry, feel stress, get confused, feel inner conflict, feel out of control, get angry and annoyed.

If we REALLY have Faith in Saibaba than why do we behave like this? These problems should not be bothering us. Isn’t Saibaba taking care! Here is the Catch. Either we do not trust Saibaba or our faith in him is only namesake.

SaiBaba advised his devotees to do all the duties of the respective stations of their lives with honesty and not to bother about the results because these are in the hands of Almighty. Lord takes action impartially. He is kind and compassionate and takes care of all without any discrimination. Even when we feel abandoned, He is still there. If we cannot see or feel him, it is because we are focusing on what is going wrong and not what is going right. If only we could focus on what we still have rather than what we lost.

If there are some tough times, God must have given them to us to help us grow in strength and character. None likes to pass through tough times, faith shakes, we want to know, how Saibaba helped my friend in trouble but not me in the same situation. Only Saibaba knows the answer to this. If I believe in Him and Trust him fully, I should be confident that He will take care of me at the most appropriate time. Now when will this ‘appropriate time’ come, only HE knows. I don’t have to worry about it. I place my request before him and let him do what he wants to do. I don’t have to repeat my requests everyday to remind him. He hears me the first time itself. I have to practice Saburi here.

When there is a delay from his side, we want to find out the answer and get restless and miserable. We fret, we pray out of fear(which is just a formality), we consult astrologers to find out when and how our bad phase will end and why did this happen to me only. When SaiBaba is our helmsman than why are we worried and running here and there? Where is our Shraddha? Where is our Saburi?

Wise men say that sometimes it is better not to know than to know. Ignorance is Bliss. Why are we trying to find out the reasons if we have genuine ‘Shraddha’ in SaiBaba. We should feel gratitude that we are devotees of the One who knows All. Why not accept what he does with our lives with all peace and calm? Have we not placed our Faith in him. We should not love Saibaba only for what He can do/has done for us but we must love him for what He Is. Faith is always unconditional. Through our faith, God checks whether we trust HIM in our ‘not knowing’ reasons for all things going wrong in our life and our environment. If we knew answer to everything happening in our lives, we won’t need a Sadguru.

SaiBaba said ‘Cast your burden on to me and I will bear it’. If we have cast our burden on SaiBaba with faith, why are we feeling burdens in our daily lives. Why do we get stressed, depressed, tense, insecure and fearful everyday. Our diabetes, BP, heart problems, headaches, upset stomachs are results of stress we have kept in our lives and we are not even aware of it. SaiBaba told us to do our duties to the best of our abilities but he never told us to worry and fret.

Saibaba referred to ‘Saburi’, as sister of ‘Shraddha’ who go hand in hand. Why? By this He is trying to teach us that once we have placed our unshakable and firm faith in our Sadguru, we must be patient enough to wait for the results because some results may be to our liking and some may disturb us. Only God knows what is good for us. Did not Das Ganu get this lesson from maid in Kakasaheb’s house? Whatever happens in our life is ultimately for our own good. Therefore, we should be patient enough to accept it, endure it and overcome it without disturbing our peace of mind. Be happy no matter what the circumstance is because trust in God is answer to all the problems we have. Once I have placed my faith in God, I should stop asking reasons for things not happening as to my liking.

We are in a hurry to have things happen our way. But God has his own ways. He knows what is good for his devotees. He may not be telling us but we should have firm belief that he is taking care. World may go topsy turvy but my faith should not shake. If we did not get what we wanted than it was not meant for us. What is ours, comes to us. What is not ours, why bother at all. We are free to feel joy and peace in our lives despite problems once we have put our trust in God. Now we have to wait patiently for God to take appropriate action with belief that it will be for our benefit. We feel doubtful if we do not have answers to our problems. It is at this time the sincerity of our faith and patience are tested.

A true devotee who has Trust in Him will wait Patiently with the firm belief that He will take care when the time is right. We have to learn to do right things even when the results may turn out to be ‘wrong’. As they say “Do your Best. God will do the Rest”. Only He know why things are happening the way they are happening. Our job is to act wisely as per the voice of our conscience and then feel free because HE is in control. This is what ‘sarvasva sharanagati’ is all about.

A true devotee practicing faith and patience knows that Saibaba will always provide a way out of tough situations at the right time for only He knows what time is right for each and everyone. Some may get results fast, some may have to wait for years. We have to stop finding answers to problems that only God can answer.

Trust sets us free from everything – worry, past mistakes, addictions, bondage, what people think about me, promotion, money, security, fears, expectations, strained relationships, diseases, grief, pain, loss of a loved one etc. When we trust we are free from botheration of finding out why this is happening to me, my family or to the society. Patience gives wings to this freedom, adds joy to the peace, gives strength of character, and connects us to the ultimate source of power.

God loves us unconditionally, when we feel pain and pleasure, joy and sorrow, mine and others, we create barriers between us and God. When we think we are separate from God and others, we suffer. Shraddha and Saburi are those virtues which will dissolve these barriers. When there will be no wall of separation, we will be able to feel presence of our Sadguru SaiBaba around us always, we will be able to see HIM face to face and understand how much He loves us.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

10-10-10 & my retirement.

Today's date is 10-10-10 which comes only once in every 1000 years. 10 is number of completion and coincidentally today is my last day of my active service in BSNL.

I had joined Department of Telecommunications under Ministry of Communications, Government of India on 23-1-1987. I still had 15 more years of my secure, permanent government service left but on an instinct I had applied for VRS on 13th July, 2010 giving notice of required 90 days. Later as I counted 90 days, the 90th day fell on 10-10-10. Is this a miracle!!!!!!

Almost 24 years of active service which I loved to do. Gave my best to my job and never wanted to quit it. But my 13 year old son needed me at home. My ageing parents needed rest. I wanted to do what I always wanted to do but could not due to my busy schedule.

When I was walking out of my office on Janpath the last time on 8th Oct (being friday, weekend), I wanted to break down and cry my heart out. My job had given me so much. I loved it as long as it lasted and God has made arrangement so that I continue to get pension out of this job for my rest of life.

I was crying because I was scared but when I look through eyes of spiritual knowledge, I realise that it is not me who has quit. I am not the DOER. Nature arranges circumstances in such a way that a person is inspired to act accordingly. When a person takes credit/discredit of such an act, it creates karma.

I have acted as per divine guidance understood my me. I surrender to God and give HIM all the credit for this action. As The Bhagvad Gita says 'Whatever happened is good, whatever happening is good and whatever will happen will also be good'. So I do not worry. Dada Bhagwan has said that Worry is the highest form of EGO...... to think that only I can solve my problem.

So now as the special number 10-10-10 indicates - one door has closed. I am sure Angels will guide me let me open and enter a new door to a better future. May I be able to help others and be of service to Lord and am able to understand His guidance and follow His instructions to the hilt. God is my Saviour. He is Me and I am HIM. I AM THAT.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

Whom to worship - Man or God?

God created Man in his own image. If we take Man and God separately it would mean denying oneness of the universe. Ik Onkar, Sabka Malik Ek, All is One, God, Father & Son are one would lose its meaning. There is no separation or boundary between a Man and God. In our ignorance, we feel we are separate and God is sitting somewhere far away beyond the clouds and sky, somewhere deep in Universe which is not true.

Ancient Hindu scriptures have been telling us that the only way to reach God is by going inwards. God cannot be found outside. It can be felt inside us. This is the reason why human birth is considered so sacred. Because it is Man who can actually learn, feel and ultimately experience God – nowhere outside but inside his body temple – in the state of complete thoughtlessness.

Scientists have proved that the tiniest part of this creation is 'vibration' which they have not been able to break down further. This vibration forms electron, proton and neutron, which in turn form atom, which form molecules… and so on. This vibration is nothing but energy - an intelligent form of energy, which has a life and existence of its own. We call it as pure consciousness because it is not visible but this ‘space’ is there which is always vibrating at a very high speed and produces celestial sound. When this consciousness condenses it becomes matter and thus become visible. Denser the condensation, solid is the matter. Man is one such visible form of matter, who has got five senses to see, smell, taste, touch and hears everything related to matter around him. He forgets to go inwards where God would be revealed to him. God /Universe/ Brahman is that pure consciousness which cannot be seen but has to be felt and experienced. It is that Divine Universal Life Force Energy which runs the show of the world. It is like that tiny dry seed which contains a huge big tree hidden in it. The seed turns into tree only when certain conditions are satisfied – it gets support of five elements – water, air, earth, ether and fire(sun). We cannot say that tree is separate from the seed. They are one and the same.

Behind every act, there is an intention. When we worship we have to be sure why we are worshipping. Is it mere ritual that we are doing? Is it being done with the desire to please and get some reward in return? Highest form of worship is that which is done to find answer to our own identity? Who am I? When a man starts questioning himself about his own origin, God starts to reveal himself to man. God symbolizes knowledge. When a man gets into self inquiry mode, he first understands that he is not body but soul.

Soul is nothing but energy (the pure consciousness / feeling of being alive) which runs this human body, which makes this body think, analyse, act and thus leave deep impressions in his astral Body for further action. When a soul leaves body, the physical body becomes useless and is therefore discarded even by the relatives of that man concerned. The impressions that human accumulated in the lifetime get carried forward to next lifetime to learn new lessons. Lessons once learnt need not be learnt again.

We should worship God to know HIM - to know our own origin. To know him means to remove layers of ignorance of our intellect. As layers are removed, knowledge shines bright, God starts becoming visible, the mysteries are solved. Suddenly everything becomes crystal clear that there is no difference between Man and God. At the deepest level all is vibration. Hinduism philosophy is all about experiencing this ultimate truth. An ordinary human knows all this in theory. We are supposed to think about it, meditate, contemplate, and assimilate upon this theory continuously

When there is duality because of ignorance, one sees all things as distinct from the Self. Sankara the great monist has written that when everything is known as the Self not even an atom is seen as other than the Self. As soon as knowledge of the Reality has sprung up, there can be no fruits of past actions to be experienced, owning to the unreality of the body, just as there can be no dream after waking i.e, Ekam Sat (only one exists). Maya is nothing but dualistic cosmic delusion, which makes us think that Man is separate and God is separate.

Sadguru(the Ascendant/Perfect Master) guides us gently, uplifts us internally, removes the layers of Maya from our vision and brings us face to face with both – form and formless - aspect of God. Each soul has to experience this truth and realize God in Self. So either way we go, whomsoever we worship first – God or Man, if our intentions are to satisfy the thirst of our soul to know its actual source, we will reach the same destination. Man is creation of God. When we worship man, we worship God because in this way we are acknowledging our love and respect for the creator with an attitude of gratitude.

SaiBaba is one such Sadguru for Hindus (like Lord Jesus) who took human birth to reveal these mysteries of Universe/ Brahman/ God to those earnest devotees who really wanted to know thy Self. The man is visible aspect of God, who is invisible to human eye. SaiBaba has advised us to try both the ways (worship of Form or Formless) whichever is suitable to us as under:

"To get the knowledge(realization) of the self, dhyan(meditation) is necessary. If you practice it continuously, the vrittis(subtle thoughts) will be pacified. Being quite desireless, you should meditate on God, who is in all the creatures and when the mind is concentrated, the goal will be achieved. Meditate always on My formless Nature, which is knowledge incarnate, consciousness and bliss. If you cannot do this, meditate on My Form from top to toe, as you see there night and day. As you go on doing this, your vrittis will be single pointed, and the distinction between the Dhyata(meditator), Dhyana(act of meditation), Dhyeya(thing meditated upon) will be lost, and the meditator will be one with the consciousness and be merged in the Brahma(Universe/God)…..This way always remember and meditate on the Lord, Who will manifest Himself to you”. Saibaba has also told his devotees to “Demolish the wall of difference that separate you from Me, and then the road for our meeting will be clear and open. The sense of differentiation as I and thou, is the barrier that keeps away the disciple from his Master and unless that is destroyed the state of union or atonement is not possible i.e, God is the sole Proprietor”. Here ‘Me’ doesnot mean physical body of Saibaba but the pure consciousness –the formless Self in the body that Saibaba is advising devotees to meditate(think) upon.

Thus, disregard of His creation would be disregard of God. Therefore, when all is One, we can start our worship from any direction, either Man(form) or God(formless), we will ultimately reach the same destination of Self realization, that is, – Sabka Malik Ek - All is One – the state where a Man sees all beings in the Self and sees the self as existing in all being, for whom all beings and everything that exists have become the Self.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

as published in Heritage of Shirdi Sai

Gurupurnima Issue 2010

How to maintain 'Balance'?

All through my growing years I often heard this advice from important people in my life that we must always maintain a balance in life.  I often read about this in religious scriptures, like, Lord Buddha advocated following middle path and to avoid living in extremes. What does all that mean?  I was not clear in my mind even though I had myself started advising my kids also that they should learn to maintain harmony and balance in life to be successful. 

Funniest part is I didn’t understand this ‘balancing’ thing.  I was blindly doing what others were doing.  I was mostly acting randomly and deciding what constitutes perfect balance in my life as a daughter, wife, mother, student, employee etc so many roles I am playing all at the same time.  I was doing what I ‘felt’ was right thing to do at that point of time.  Yet so many times I was not happy and feeling out of balance.

What constitutes the right balance is difficult to define.  What is that middle path.  Hindu scriptures talk of half male and half female aspect of God in order to define what is balance.  Chinese talk of yin(receptive female element of intuitive mind) and yang(strong male creative power) balance.  Whenever we come across something at extreme level we can easily identify and know that it is out of balance. 

In our day to day life to indicate this imbalance we often use the word ‘too’ - something or someone is too sweet, too rude, too thin, too fat, too studious, too lazy, too talkative, too quiet etc.  Here ‘too’ indicates that the quality we are talking about is out of balance.  We even have adjectives to label certain aspects of our personality e.g. extrovert, introvert, shy, aggressive, bold, timid, fearful, daring, brave, timid, workaholic, work-shirker etc.  We know we are talking about out of balance personality here – some aspect in personality which is either over or below normal level.  However, how do we know that we are in balance in any given situation?

I got an answer in Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda teachings who has stated that each human being has inbuilt masculine and feminine aspect in its personality which has to be in perfect balance for healthy body, mind and soul.  Masculine or positive aspect reveals itself as power to judge, discriminate, reason etc while feminine or negative aspect reveals itself through feeling of love, compassion, joy, and emotion.  If 'reason' lacks 'feeling' it becomes calculating and harsh and if 'feeling' lacks 'reason' it becomes blind emotion.  We go out of balance and thus unhappy. 

This philosophy made perfect sense to me and I could understand it clearly.  A perfect balance of these two aspects (reason & feeling) results in right action.  Have you noticed that sometimes we don’t do right thing just because we are not feeling good about doing it.  We get deceived by our ‘feelings’ and want to give ‘rest’ to our body.

If I am reasoning too much and overlooking the emotional aspect of a given situation, I am going out of balance.  I have to judge my friend, family or even enemy through intelligence and reasoning and not by emotional blindness.  From where does this intelligence comes from?  It is inherent part of our soul.  We call it as voice of conscience – which may differ from person to person.  What may be right to me could be 'not so right' to the other person.  


I should have faith in my own inner intelligence and reasoning for my own growth.  I may take advice from learned people, teachers etc but ultimately my decision should be based on my own inner understanding of the situation if I want to grow.  I have to understand that I am responsible for my life and its result.

If you know through your intelligence and reasoning that you have not wronged a person and the other person (even the world) insists that you are wrong, then you are not wrong.  Swami Vivekananda has insisted that a human being has to learn to ‘have faith in self’ to be successful in life.  To be able to say ‘I have a clear conscience’ is the most happiest state for any human being.  This is the perfect state of balance.

The pre-requisite here is taking responsibility of each and every happening in my life.  I get what I attract.  I am responsible for my failure and success.  We are mostly shrugging off our responsibility by blaming others for things going wrong in our life.  I have to do my part of karma in the most diligent manner as per guidance of my inner consciousness.  Nobody else is responsible for anything going wrong in my life.  The universe is working in divine perfect order.  Everything happens the way it should.

In this workplace called earth, I am the warrior (Arjuna) and God (Krishna) is nothing but my own inner voice of conscience-ness.  So many times we know what is right but still we don’t do it because we do not ‘feel’ like doing it.  We get deceived by our strong feelings and emotions and end up making wrong choices just to feel good.  We have to discipline ourselves if we want to live in balance.  Make it a habit to do right thing even when we don’t feel like doing it.  We have to discard those reasons which are making us emotionally and mentally blind (Dhritrashtra).

As a human, we are energy beings, made up of pure consciousness.  When we look at others too as pure consciousness, we act right and maintain balance.  When we personalize, we make wrong choices.  Right approach to maintain balance would be to look at the situation /person from non-personal level, try to feel what other person is going through, discriminate intelligently, listen to your own inner voice of conscience, reason out, take a decision, act and standby it.  Now don’t let judgments of others bother you.  You have done your best if you 'know' it in your heart.  This is sufficient.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

Check your expectation level

Expectations have a very important role to play in the life of every human being.  To a certain extent they determine the very nature of an individual.

A person having very high expectations has a frustrating disposition.  He is often found to be too critical and mean in nature – always finding faults with others.  Such persons are very ambitious but tend to make faulty decisions as they are always in a haste and also because expectations which they have from all others viz., colleagues, friends, family, boss are not always met with.  These type of people are always found blaming other people for various calamities in their life and career.  Thus they have a tendency to overlook their own mistakes.  These are very sensitive persons.  If they are successful on their professional fronts, their personal life is not much to boast of, for they are not a pleasing company to their near and dear ones.  Otherwise these people are not successful in their careers as they are never satisfied in the atmosphere they are working in.  Hence they quit one job after another in the pursuit of fulfilling their expectations and failing every time, thereby increasing their frustrations.  Only solution for such persons is to bring their expectations on a little lower level, i.e.,  somewhat achievable level.

On the other hand an individual with no expectation is always at peace.  He is more or less like a peaceful ‘pigeon’ – always happy with everyone, with no complaints whatsoever, with life. People of this category are very few and difficult to find in today’s world full of hypocrites.  When we come across such people we find them out of this world.  They act like anchors in the times of trouble for the whole humanity.  They believe in giving peaceful advice, share woes of all those who get in touch with them.  They give a new direction to the ones who have no hope with the life.  They are sometimes known as ‘saints’.  They help mankind with no expectation of return either in cash or kind.  It is due to these people we get the meaning of words like, honesty, dedication, social service, philanthropy.  These are the people who reinstate our faith in humanity.  They are living Angels on earth - Helping others even when they themselves are going through pain in life.

Then, there is another category of people which falls somewhere in between the above mentioned two categories.  These type of people have neither too high nor too low level of expectations from life as well as people around them.  They are able to strike a balance and find peace and tranquility in their lives.  They try to accommodate interests of others ad also make endeavors to analyze as to why their expectations were not met with.  This way they understand problems of others as well as correct their own mistake and errors.  They have a balanced disposition and they are also down to earth human beings with regard to their attitude towards life and people in general.  They maintain stability in all types of ‘seasons’.  They have the ability to turn towards the direction of ‘tide’.  They are adjustable in all circumstances though after initial hesitation sometimes.  Thus with this ability to face all problems in life they survive magnificently for they believe in fate and hence are able to face turbulent  winds in their lives like giant trees.  For them, problems are part of life and one has to learn to live with them and face them head on.  They have good balance of mind.  At the time when they have either failed miserably or achieved tremendous success, they label it as ‘luck’.  These people have a great intuitive sense and better understanding of emotions of people.  Therefore, they adjust themselves according to the situation and change according to demand of the situation.  These kind of personalities are liked by all.

So you see how expectation level of a person is also yardstick to judge human nature.  Now it is upto you to decide to which category you would like to belong.  OK!  Start Thinking…

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

Inner Life versus Outer Life

We all have two lives – outer and inner.

Outer life is all about materialism – body, family, friends, country, studies, job, eating, playing, resting, entertainment etc. –this whole universe which we can see or perceive with our five senses of seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling. Outer life is all about my body in relation to other bodies outside and around me. 

On the other hand, Inner life is all about spiritualism – self inquiry, who am I, why have I come here, who is God, where is God, why do I feel in a particular manner about one person and differently for another. Inner life is all about inner conversation with self, my inner connection with God and Universe.   It is beyond the perception of our five senses, unseen and based purely on intuition.

Outer life is how world looks at me while Inner life is how I look at myself.  Outer life is visible while inner life is invisible and strictly private and closed.  Inner life is very sacred and needs to be taken very special care of.  Improvement of inner life depends on sole individual effort.  No luck, opportunity or worldly 'influence' works here.  Only God's grace can speed up our inner awareness.  Outer life is concerned with 'What' I am doing while Inner life is concerned with 'Why' I am doing - my true intentions for undertaking any activity.

As a human being we are show offs. We are mostly concerned about learning about ways and means to improve our outer life – studies, degrees, position in society, promotion at job, fame, money. All the time we are learning how to be successful in our outer life and if we are successful than we do not want anything more. We are full of pride and say ‘I am happy and content, I have everything I wanted’. Is this true???? Is this all we want?????

We do not want to learn about ways and means to improve our inner life. We wait to get old for ‘such a waste of time’. But by that time it is late because now we are not left with sufficient energy to explore and know thyself.

We should invest our time in self inquiry often. If we spend time with ourselves for some time of the day, it will not only refresh us but make us more stable and in control. If we are aware of how our inner self works, we can improve its working. Thus we will be more wise and be able to take right decisions. We will be more in control of ourselves and it would be difficult for others to manipulate us in a wrong way. And these virtues are more required when we are young, stepping out in the big world and not when we are old and left with very few people to deal with. Needless to add that healthy inner life reflects a healthy outer body.

The famous American Psychiatrist Brian Weiss has observed that we are spiritual being having a human experience. Thus, how can we ignore our inner life.  Ignoring it would mean disconnecting with our core source and thus losing our peace of mind and inviting stress even over simple things.

Therefore, apart from imparting academic knowledge to handle outer life, if we teach our children how to be in touch with their inner self, they would not only turn out to be very successful in life but also will be able to handle any situation and adversity in life. They will become pillars of strength because good inner life breeds a highly successful outer life.



Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

The other side of the Story

With liberalization and development India saw growth in number of professionals, coming of multinationals and lucrative jobs offering good pay scales resulting in increase in cost of living.

This is the changing scene in the middle class families of today’s India. Archana is the only child of her parents. She is worried who will take care of them when she grows up and gets married and moves over to her husband’s home. When she gets married she finds her husband also is the only child of his parents. She and her husband decide that they will manage not only their jobs, children but also look after their parents.

Parents have grown up in times when they saw parents spending all their income and savings on their children and left with nothing to take care of their needs in old age. They are depending on their grown up children to earn and take care of the entire household and old parents as well. But children neglected their parents and in most cases did not take care of their health forget about giving them money which they themselves got from their parents when they were young. They want their parents to do household work, take care of their children and not ask for anything.

With this learning behind them, the present age grandparents have become smart. They saved money, invested it wisely so that they get returns when they turn old in form of pension, did not Will away their property and learnt to live the life in a way they wanted because with their savings they are now self dependent. They do not have to ask for any money from their children and they like their financial independence. These senior citizens can now afford keeping household helpers like cooks, drivers etc. They are not depending on their sons or daughter in laws for their food, medical bills, grocery bills, restaurant bills, travel bills etc.

Archana got married into such financially independent family. Everyone had money. She herself and her husband were having good jobs and her in-laws had all sorts of savings for their old age. Every thing looked fine till a child was born in the family. Archana needed help from her in-laws because they had lot of free time with them and there were servants in home for other household work. Her In-laws were more or less free during day. Archana assumed that if she kept a maid for her child during her absence, her in-laws could act as a supervisor and also play with the grandchild who would always be so happy to be with his grandparents. But Archana did not realize that this is where the scene had changed in the Society. Her in-laws did not want to take any responsibility of their grand child. Why should they? They did not need any money from her or their son. They wanted to enjoy their old age with their own age group.

In all this new age financial independent environment so many things had gone missing – emotional dependence, family support and above all Love. Yes Love is there. But love is without any attachment or any kind of responsibility. We hear about senior citizens being troubled by their children in those places where they are penniless, where children have money. But in Metros and big places where senior citizens have learnt their lesson and have learnt to take care of themselves, they have stopped taking care of their own children, grandchildren.

Archana did everything she was expected to do as a good daughter in law, She cooked, cleaned, looked after her in-laws, husband and her child besides doing her job. But everytime her maid took leave, her in-laws refused to look after her son. Archana would wonder sometimes if the child was her responsibility only. When her in-laws were quite healthy and active why could they not help her sometimes. And whenever she offered any help to them they would refuse and could take help from servants etc on payment basis. Archana felt as if her in-laws had hired a 24 hour servant just to spite her that ‘look we are not depending on you, we have our servant, we don't need your help.’ This way they feel no obligation at all.  Whereas when she does anything for them, it is free of cost and out of love, respect and duty. 

May be in-laws take it as an obligation because they are not doing anything for her. However, it is easy when servant does anything because he works for money, he is paid and therefore there is no obligation at all. Archana feels totally misunderstood. First she is not allowed to do anything for her rich in-laws on her own and then she is accused that she does nothing for them. She cannot believe that sometimes these old people can really be so mean if they do not get things there way. Then why blame the young generation. They got this learning from their elder only. The great war of Mahabharata (The Bhagvad Gita) would not have taken place if elders in the family had acted wisely.
So in this story, Archana’s in laws take care of themselves only while she and her husband are expected to take care of everyone. Years passed on and all in the family realized that though they lived together they were not doing anything of each other. They lived in a loveless house and not home. How can family bonds develop if we do not learn to take care of each other, share with each other and help each other. We may be rich, have all the materialistic comfort but the most important thing is missing – Pure Unconditional Love i.e, service for each other without expectation of any returns.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi