Inner Life versus Outer Life

We all have two lives – outer and inner.

Outer life is all about materialism – body, family, friends, country, studies, job, eating, playing, resting, entertainment etc. –this whole universe which we can see or perceive with our five senses of seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling. Outer life is all about my body in relation to other bodies outside and around me. 

On the other hand, Inner life is all about spiritualism – self inquiry, who am I, why have I come here, who is God, where is God, why do I feel in a particular manner about one person and differently for another. Inner life is all about inner conversation with self, my inner connection with God and Universe.   It is beyond the perception of our five senses, unseen and based purely on intuition.

Outer life is how world looks at me while Inner life is how I look at myself.  Outer life is visible while inner life is invisible and strictly private and closed.  Inner life is very sacred and needs to be taken very special care of.  Improvement of inner life depends on sole individual effort.  No luck, opportunity or worldly 'influence' works here.  Only God's grace can speed up our inner awareness.  Outer life is concerned with 'What' I am doing while Inner life is concerned with 'Why' I am doing - my true intentions for undertaking any activity.

As a human being we are show offs. We are mostly concerned about learning about ways and means to improve our outer life – studies, degrees, position in society, promotion at job, fame, money. All the time we are learning how to be successful in our outer life and if we are successful than we do not want anything more. We are full of pride and say ‘I am happy and content, I have everything I wanted’. Is this true???? Is this all we want?????

We do not want to learn about ways and means to improve our inner life. We wait to get old for ‘such a waste of time’. But by that time it is late because now we are not left with sufficient energy to explore and know thyself.

We should invest our time in self inquiry often. If we spend time with ourselves for some time of the day, it will not only refresh us but make us more stable and in control. If we are aware of how our inner self works, we can improve its working. Thus we will be more wise and be able to take right decisions. We will be more in control of ourselves and it would be difficult for others to manipulate us in a wrong way. And these virtues are more required when we are young, stepping out in the big world and not when we are old and left with very few people to deal with. Needless to add that healthy inner life reflects a healthy outer body.

The famous American Psychiatrist Brian Weiss has observed that we are spiritual being having a human experience. Thus, how can we ignore our inner life.  Ignoring it would mean disconnecting with our core source and thus losing our peace of mind and inviting stress even over simple things.

Therefore, apart from imparting academic knowledge to handle outer life, if we teach our children how to be in touch with their inner self, they would not only turn out to be very successful in life but also will be able to handle any situation and adversity in life. They will become pillars of strength because good inner life breeds a highly successful outer life.



Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

The other side of the Story

With liberalization and development India saw growth in number of professionals, coming of multinationals and lucrative jobs offering good pay scales resulting in increase in cost of living.

This is the changing scene in the middle class families of today’s India. Archana is the only child of her parents. She is worried who will take care of them when she grows up and gets married and moves over to her husband’s home. When she gets married she finds her husband also is the only child of his parents. She and her husband decide that they will manage not only their jobs, children but also look after their parents.

Parents have grown up in times when they saw parents spending all their income and savings on their children and left with nothing to take care of their needs in old age. They are depending on their grown up children to earn and take care of the entire household and old parents as well. But children neglected their parents and in most cases did not take care of their health forget about giving them money which they themselves got from their parents when they were young. They want their parents to do household work, take care of their children and not ask for anything.

With this learning behind them, the present age grandparents have become smart. They saved money, invested it wisely so that they get returns when they turn old in form of pension, did not Will away their property and learnt to live the life in a way they wanted because with their savings they are now self dependent. They do not have to ask for any money from their children and they like their financial independence. These senior citizens can now afford keeping household helpers like cooks, drivers etc. They are not depending on their sons or daughter in laws for their food, medical bills, grocery bills, restaurant bills, travel bills etc.

Archana got married into such financially independent family. Everyone had money. She herself and her husband were having good jobs and her in-laws had all sorts of savings for their old age. Every thing looked fine till a child was born in the family. Archana needed help from her in-laws because they had lot of free time with them and there were servants in home for other household work. Her In-laws were more or less free during day. Archana assumed that if she kept a maid for her child during her absence, her in-laws could act as a supervisor and also play with the grandchild who would always be so happy to be with his grandparents. But Archana did not realize that this is where the scene had changed in the Society. Her in-laws did not want to take any responsibility of their grand child. Why should they? They did not need any money from her or their son. They wanted to enjoy their old age with their own age group.

In all this new age financial independent environment so many things had gone missing – emotional dependence, family support and above all Love. Yes Love is there. But love is without any attachment or any kind of responsibility. We hear about senior citizens being troubled by their children in those places where they are penniless, where children have money. But in Metros and big places where senior citizens have learnt their lesson and have learnt to take care of themselves, they have stopped taking care of their own children, grandchildren.

Archana did everything she was expected to do as a good daughter in law, She cooked, cleaned, looked after her in-laws, husband and her child besides doing her job. But everytime her maid took leave, her in-laws refused to look after her son. Archana would wonder sometimes if the child was her responsibility only. When her in-laws were quite healthy and active why could they not help her sometimes. And whenever she offered any help to them they would refuse and could take help from servants etc on payment basis. Archana felt as if her in-laws had hired a 24 hour servant just to spite her that ‘look we are not depending on you, we have our servant, we don't need your help.’ This way they feel no obligation at all.  Whereas when she does anything for them, it is free of cost and out of love, respect and duty. 

May be in-laws take it as an obligation because they are not doing anything for her. However, it is easy when servant does anything because he works for money, he is paid and therefore there is no obligation at all. Archana feels totally misunderstood. First she is not allowed to do anything for her rich in-laws on her own and then she is accused that she does nothing for them. She cannot believe that sometimes these old people can really be so mean if they do not get things there way. Then why blame the young generation. They got this learning from their elder only. The great war of Mahabharata (The Bhagvad Gita) would not have taken place if elders in the family had acted wisely.
So in this story, Archana’s in laws take care of themselves only while she and her husband are expected to take care of everyone. Years passed on and all in the family realized that though they lived together they were not doing anything of each other. They lived in a loveless house and not home. How can family bonds develop if we do not learn to take care of each other, share with each other and help each other. We may be rich, have all the materialistic comfort but the most important thing is missing – Pure Unconditional Love i.e, service for each other without expectation of any returns.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

Learning to accept God in life.

Everyday in our day to day life we come across different kinds of people, events and situations. It is upto us to whether we are going to let these people, events and situations bother us, disturb us, shake up our peace of mind.

When disturbed we often exclaim, Oh! Where is God? Well I have realized God has got nothing to do with these things troubling us. It is our monkey mind which analysis everything and enjoys or gets disturbed. We get pain and pleasure when we associate ourselves personally with these people, events and situations. If someone says something nice about me I am happy, if its rude comment, I feel bad and get mad at that person. Actually it is my mind which is prompting me to like or dislike anything. If I become aware of working of mind and how it affects my emotions and feelings, it will be very easy to handle any volatile situation. We just cannot let our feelings go helter and skelter. If we do that, we will get stress and restless. If this adds on day by day since life is ever flowing, it affects my blood pressure, my body, my sleep.

I have to understand that I cannot control majority of people, events or situations around me. I just cannot let these steal my peace of mind. How?

I have to learn to believe in God i.e., all around me, the universal laws which are impartial and flawless. I have to learn to accept everything around me as PERFECT. Whether it is to my liking or not is irrelevant. God has made everything Perfect. His creation is in a perfect matrix where each and everyone is linked to each other in perfect balance. Whosoever is in my life, has connected to me with some universal purpose. Nothing is happening here by chance. There is a reason. We are all trying to balance our energies by helping each other either through relations, friendship, job circle, society, nation etc. etc.

When I 'see' some imperfection in someone, this is just an illusion. Why? Because what I am perceiving as wrong is not imperfection for the person concerned. For example, if my boss is not happy with my work he thinks he is right while I think that he is wrong because he is not seeing my side of the story. Well none is wrong. The boss and me, both are perfect in our own way. We are merely perceiving each other through colored glasses and looking at the situation just the way we want to. And the way we look at it affects us because we attach emotions to everything. It is our ego, which gets hurts. Who has seen this ego? None. So basically it is illusion.

When I trust God it implies I trust and accept all the happenings in my life – to my liking or not – as gift from God. For what we get is what we give out. If not from the same person but may be from someone else. e.g. I buy you a cup of coffee today, you may buy it for another and that person buys it for someone else. A time will come when someone will buy me a cup of coffee – could be you or someone else. But I will get back what I gave away. Similar thing happens when you give love to someone or reverse it. When you give hate to someone. You get it back not necessarily from the same source but it will come back to you with double impact. That is why we say we create our own reality. We make our destiny. God is our witness. God is impartial. God is bothered more about our 'intentions' than our 'deeds'. 'Intentions' are subtle and cannot be seen while 'deeds are visible to everyone. Therefore understanding and keeping awareness of 'inner working' is essantial for each human being. But most of us are majorly concerned and worried about world projected outside us. No wonder real happiness eludes us.

Awareness of the Principles on which universe operates is very necessary of our spiritual and mental growth. However, our schools do not teach this kind of stuff. Some schools do have moral education but only as one of their side subjects. Our moral values make us what we are and enable us to cope with trials of life. Whatever we do, our 'intentions' should be right and honorable for Universe is keeping a record of all our invisible intentions and also speech and actions.

When I believe in unseen, the God, I accept that there is a higher authority over and above which is beyond my comprehension. On earth we have two kinds of people – believers in God and non believers in God. We may call God by different names but basic funda is we either believe in unseen power or we do not. Believers are supposed to believe in unseen and its power which gives them peace. While non believers believe in their actions and only in the seen phenomenon thus they lose their peace of mind in no time. Which category do you belong to – Believer or Non Believer?????

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

Sai Satcharitra on Duty towards family

In Sri Sai Satcharita many instances have been recorded where SaiBaba has advised how a householder – male as well as female should conduct himself or herself. A few of them are as under:

1. First give bread to the hungry and then eat yourself. Do not make the habit of eating alone. Share it with those around you. Always remember God every time you take food. Before the senses, mind and intellect enjoy their objects, first God should be remembered. He who feeds the hungry, be it human or animal or bird or plant, serves God. See God in all beings. SaiBaba disapproved of fasting and said that God cannot be found on an empty stomach. He advised moderate eating i.e, neither starving nor over-eating.

2. Unless there is some relationship or connection, nobody goes anywhere. If any men or creatures come to you, do not discourteously drive them away but receive them well, and treat them with due respect. Give water to the thirsty, bread to the hungry, clothes to the naked and your verandah to strangers for resting. If anybody wants any money from you and you are not inclined to give, do not give but do not bark at him like a dog. It is on account of Rinanubandh (former relationship) that we have come together, let us love and serve each other and be happy.

3. Duty of feeding sanyasi is of householders due to Panchasoona – five sins and their atonement. In order to prepare food stuffs and meals the householders have to go through five actions or processes viz pounding, grinding, washing pots, sweeping and cleaning and lighting hearths. These processes involve destruction of a lot of small insects and creatures and thus the households incur an amount of sin. To atone of this these shastras prescribe 6 offerings viz - Offerings to Brahman, study of the Vedas, offerings to ancestors, offerings to Gods, offerings to beings, offerings to men or uninvited guests. If these are duly performed it leads to purification of mind and helps them in getting knowledge and self realization. Baba in going from house to house reminded the householders of their sacred duty.

4. No body should take the labour of others in vain. The worker should be paid his dues promptly and liberally.

5. For spiritual progress of householders, Baba advised that God is One- Ram and Rahim are one and the same, why should their devotees fall out and quarrel among themselves. It is not good to dispute and argue. So don’t argue, don’t emulate others. Always consider your interest and welfare. The lord will protect you. If anyone does any evil unto you do not retaliate. If you can do anything do some good unto others.

6. To reach God, surrender of self to Sadguru is a must. This surrender has to be combined with two virtues of Faith and Patience. We should turn all our attention towards Him and avoid the company of atheists, irreligious and wicked people.

In short, a householder – male or female - should always engage in good actions, do duties of their respective stations in life and surrender themselves, heart and soul to Him. This is enough to achieve the aim of taking a human body.

Vandana Ritik,

Heritage of Shirdi Sai

New Delhi

I am Soul not body

All along I’ve been thinking that I am a body and my tiny little soul is hidden somewhere inside my brain. Then the other day, I heard a very beautiful and deeply meaningful Buddhist quote: I am not in the body, the body is in me. This made me think and grasp its meaning. I wanted to understand its meaning, how I can put this knowledge to practice and how it is going to help me? I recalled all the information I had gathered so far through the study of various spiritual scriptures on the subject and following is what I understood:-

Here ‘I’ is referred to the ‘Soul’ or still higher ‘Spirit’. Soul is supposed to be the part of the wider Spirit – in the ultimate – all is Spirit. Water in river merges into wider ocean, in the ultimate - all is Ocean- Water. Similarly, soul is micro while spirit is macro just like water in river is micro and in ocean is macro (from where water evaporates and comes back as rain to fill up the river and then ocean again). From this I understand that all micro is part of that big macro - ONE. We call it principle of ONENESS or UNIVERSALITY. Everything emerges from ONE and merges back into that same ONE.

Now If I try to understand the function at the lower level it will be easy. The Soul is tiny spark of THE SPIRIT. Soul is energy and energy can never be destroyed. In itself, the Soul is said to be originally in the state Existence-Knowledge-Bliss. To express and experience itself and its powers, the soul takes up a body where it uses its aspects of thinking, intellect and emotions. However, in the body, the soul forgets its own existence, and gets entangled in the cycle of birth and death. Thus Soul gets separated from its source – the SPIRIT forever. The soul is given chance in form of a human body to recall its origin and merge back with the Source and return back to its original state of bliss forever.

The Soul contains all the information of the SPIRIT i.e., entire universe and its operations. However, when soul takes on this ‘garment’ of human body, most of this information becomes imperceptible because the human body has been bestowed with five senses(see, hear, touch, smell and taste) sufficient enough to comprehend the life it has to lead while dwelling on earth plane. These senses have a very limited range i.e., only earth and its surroundings like planets, solar system, galaxies etc. Accordingly human knowledge gets limited within this range.

However, in the human body, the Mind /Intellect aspect of the soul can be used to access the rest of the vast universal information. Mind has capability to go anywhere it wants to go. Sitting in my office chair, I can take my mind to foreign locales using my power of thoughts. A soul is capable of using its intellect/mind function to connect with the Source through knowledge and also through power of imagination and thoughts. The tricky part - It is the mind faculty of soul which makes it think that it is body and it is mind only which is to be used to correct the error and understand that I am soul not body. We have to learn to use our mind to control our body desires and not the other way round

The problem with most of us is that our mind has made us very busy with our body and its requirements – be it nourishment, relationships, profession, academic knowledge, attending functions etc. We start to believe that our life is to fulfil these material needs of the body only. We hardly think of the soul- its spiritual needs. We say we will think of it in old age or when we are free. When we forget the reality that I am Soul not Body, the Body starts to rule and control the Soul. Nature wants it other way round. Our Body should listen and function as per directions of our true inner self – Soul. When the body/ materialistic needs take priority and spiritual needs are neglected, the result is that when finally the body is discarded, the soul goes back empty handed. Soul did not experience or learn anything in that lifetime. Why? Because we accepted ourselves as body, then lived and died thinking of us as body. Only the body was enjoying and in the process the soul suffered. Thus the human life is wasted.

This is the reason why great saints and mystics have given so much importance to human body. A human body has been given this special faculty called mind which is to be used to access the universal knowledge, we refer to as God. Ancient Hindu scriptures state that God discovers himself through Us. HE makes HIMSELF known to HIM whom HE chooses. I have to understand and believe with utmost faith that HE has chosen ME. A human being has to aspire to understand these mysteries and understand the working of the Brahman (the Universe /God). It is said that the best way to get this knowledge is constant questioning of the self – Who am I, Why did I take Birth? What should I do to know my Source? How am I linked with others? When we are open to receive answers to these queries, the mysteries start to reveal themselves to us on their own. Actually, it is just ‘uncovering’ the layers of that exhaustive knowledge which is already contained in the Soul. As we ‘know’, we ‘grow’. We came to earth for this growth.

Normally people have an objective to lead a happy family life – grow up, work, get married, have children, get them married, think of God in old age and so on. However, a time comes when a human starts to wonder if he was actually born to do all this. If this thought persists longer than the human being starts to search for spiritual knowledge. In some human beings this thirst for knowledge does not come at all in the entire lifetime. The inner self could not be explored to remove the layers of ignorance and revelation of the vast divine knowledge. The life remained unfulfilled. All along we do not understood that purpose of this birth is not fulfillment of material desires only. It is much more. The materialistic world is to learn the art of giving and taking, unconditional loving, enjoying this journey of self exploration. We get so entangled and absorbed here that we do not want to move ahead and grow spiritually which will make us joyous for eternity. What we should today, we postpone it to old age. Sometimes it is too late.

I think that in simple terms, the best utilization of this human body is that a human being should lead a normal conscientious life and at the same time the human being should remember and stay connected with his Source / Creator/ God / Spirit. For some part of the day, take time aside to stop thinking of the outside world and introspect on Self only – Who am I? Try to feel and experience his own Being, his existence. A Believer in God is supposed to believe and trust in the unseen power even if it sounds illogical to his analytical and logical mind. Human being should always remember and be constantly aware that I am not in the body, the body is in me.

Vandana Ritik

New Delhi

How to keep your Promise?

Have you given a promise to someone and are now unable to keep it? Is that making you guilty because you believe that when we give our word to do something, we should do it no matter what. That is why it is said that Silence is Golden. However, supposing you made a promise to someone many years ago and are finding it difficult to keep the same today, what would you do?

Well the Great Indian Epic Mahabharata

has a solution in this regard.

The Great Warrior Bhishma Pitamah had taken a vow that he would not claim the Kingdom of Hastinapur. To prevent any of his off spring from becoming King, he took a vow of celibacy. He also promised that he would be loyal to whosoever sits on the throne of Kingdom of Hastinapur. The vow was made when the times were good, the King was his own father and the whole environment was good.

However, two generations later, problem arose as now the Hastinapur was in the hands of an unworthy blind ruler Dhritrashtra, who wanted his selfish and ambitious son Duryodhana(Kaurava) to be the next King ignoring his royal cousin Yudhishtar(Pandava) who was the most fit person to be the King in those days and he also had the right to be the next King. Old Bhishma, who was still very strong and mighty warrior, knew these facts but due to his vow of loyality towards the ruler of Hastinapur he could not oppose the injustice, harrassment and foul tricks being played against the Pandavas family by the Duryodhana(Kauravas) and all the while blind king kept quiet and did not take any action to stop his son.

The big war of Mahabharata could have been avoided had wise Bhishma broken his vow in order to establish Dharma (righteousness) in the Kingdom. To keep his word, he fought and lost his life against Pandavas who had the support of God Lord Krishna himself. The wise Bhishma was struck up in the past. He was overlooking the new changes in the environment, the downfall in the values of the rulers of Hastinapur.

He was so powerful if only he had reconsidered his promise so many lives could have been saved.

In the same battle, Lord Krishna had also promised that though he would support the Pandavas but he would not wield any weapon against the Duryodhana’s army. He became Charioteer of Pandava Warrior Arjuna instead.

However, towards the end of the war, Lord Krishna did take up the weapon – the Sudarshana Chakra(the revolving disc of fire) to save life of Pandavas’ unborn progeny. Lord Krishna did not keep his word. He was looking at the situation from the present angle. The vow was made in the past. Now the circumstances had changed and if he had not stepped in the Pandavas' (who represented righteousness) future lineage would have stopped. Saving the future of humanity was more important to Lord Krishna than keeping his word of non-violence during the war.

Lord Krishna reconsidered his promise in the new set of circumstances to establish righteousness in the interest of all.

Resolve your inner conflict keeping the above points in mind. Lord Krishna is your own inner consciousness. It is always good to keep your word but if the situation demands, it is wise to break your promise when the circumstances have considerably changed and keeping your word is going to hurt interest of all.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi

What is Detachment ?

When some person, thing or object of our desire stays in our mind even after it is not in front to us or has vanished away from our sight, it is called attachment. If we permit this desire to stay longer on our mental plain, it creates feeling of happiness, sadness, bitterness, envy, hatred, pride, greed etc which is attachment. We crave for taking revenge from our ‘enemies’. They are people whom we have labeled as our ill wishers in our thoughts because they are not meeting with the criteria of goodness we have stored in our psychic.

Lot of people talk of being detached or feeling detached. But what does it mean? Does it mean stopping interaction with our near and dear ones? Does it mean quarantining oneself from our loved ones? Does it mean avoiding celebrations or functions of the family? Does is mean stopping to enjoy life? Does it mean maintaining a physical and mental distance from the world to maintain a close relationship with God? Does it mean stop enjoying. NO. NO. NO. This is not detachment.

Ancient Holy Scriptures state that in the pursuit of God, if we neglect our worldly duties then God burns down our sins occurring due to this neglect and takes us in HIS fold thereby freeing us from the cycle of birth and death. Many of us do not understand the crux of this and start to give up worldly duties, still enjoying our luxuries etc and seek our freedom without following the other part of the teaching. We do not genuinely take up the search of God. This is not detachment.

When we have taken human body, we automatically have to perform many worldly duties depending upon our position in the family, society and the world. God does not want us to run away from them to find him. Shirking from family responsibilities, even if you are old and yet capable, is not detachment. Real detachment comes when we do all our duties but with the feeling that whatever would be the outcome – good or bad – we will remain calm and stable. We offer both – the credit as well as the fruit of performing our duty to the God. This way we get free from Karma bondage because now karma is God’s and not ours. When we act this way, automatically it so happens that our conscience does not permit us to do anything wrong or undesirable or harmful for the society.

Controlling faculties of mind and making choice is in our hand but the result is not. The outcome is our destiny. We get only if we deserve. There are so many factors which determine what we deserve - some of them we will not understand, only God can.

When we look at ourselves as DOER, take responsibility of our actions on self than we have to carry the burden of our own individual karma life after life and bear the good as well as bad outcomes of the same. Detachment is means to get rid of this excess baggage for it is wise to travel light coz the journey is long. We have to understand that nothing belongs to us.

If we go deeper, the society we live in carries the burden of its collective karma which it has to endure in next life time and so on. That is why wise men say that we should check our company. For company we keep affects our mental makeup and vice versa.

This world has been called the play of God’s Maya (illusion). What we see, hear, feel, smell or taste with our five senses is not all that this world is comprised of. Universe encircles many phenomenons which are beyond comprehension of our five senses. A spiritual person has to first learn to discriminate between real and unreal. Choosing to stay with the real and detaching oneself from unreal. Only God is real, rest is unreal. We do our karma and then wait for its result/ outcome/ affect. If it is not as per our expectations we start to find fault and get into blame game. This is not detachment.

I am not talking to you, keeping away from you and not meeting you. This does not mean I am detached from you. I would be detached from you, if you’re being out there in this world or anywhere does not affect me in any way. I should not have any kind of love or hate feelings for you. I should feel comfortable as well as neutral in your company. If your being in the same room as me invokes feeling of excitement or jealousy or ill will or hatred, it is attachment. We are attached when we feel like or dislike for some person, place, object or event.

We are supposed to do our karma as per dharma based on stations of duty of our life disinterestedly, just like a witness. The outcome of our karma should not bother us. Prescribed dharma is what we find in religious scriptures as well as in our own inner consciousness depending upon the level of development of our soul in this lifetime. If we act this way and offer what we did along with its outcome – whether to our liking or not – to God, we are said to be detached and free from any karma bondage. Our karma burden in lighter. This is said to be the first step.

In the next step, if we continuously stay detached from our karma and remain connected with the God/Universe, feeling calm and peaceful amidst ups and downs of our life, staying unruffled, we will be able to break through this unreal cycle of birth and death (where we stay entangled life after life) and find the real - attain Nirvana – will become masters of Self and need not be born again.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi