July 17, 2009

How happiness leaves us?


We are living in a state of comfort and contentment facing various ups and downs of our life with ease and yet are unable to remain in a state of peace and joy permanently.

Our problem is that moment someone comes into our life – person or event – which is not to our liking, we start questioning with a view to find reason behind – those upsetting words or event. We should actually be focusing on how to handle it to stop any further damage to us, our family or our environment. But we lose our focus and get entangled in finding faults in person or event which caused us distress. This cannot be undone because it is past.

Our major questioning is related to finding answers to five Ws – Why, What, When, Where, Who/Which. We do this questioning because we start to feel out of control at the fact that someone/ something has had audacity to disturb our calm world. Thus we spoil our present.

As we start to analyse our mind loses its peace, we go completely out of control. We start feeling depleted and even show our disgust to our loved ones. This inner turmoil surely affects our outer world and our family life. And our Happiness starts to walk away from us. Thus we spoil our future as well.

Who caused this? We are responsible for whatever is happening in our life. Similarly, if something is not working out fine in others’ lives, it is their responsibility. I cannot feel guilty if something went wrong in someone’s life. How I react to it is in my hands. If I can help and the other person permits me to help, then its fine and I can go ahead otherwise I have to move away without feeling guilty. I can pray to God to deal with that person or situation as HE deems fit and bring justice to all involved.

It is our attitude, our response to any bad situation in life which will determine our peace of mind. Instead of wasting my time and energy on 5 Ws, I could spend my time in finding way out of my problem, it would help me retain my peace and happiness with me.

We fail when we try to control the world. We have to remember that God is in control. HE is the wire-puller. We just cannot accept that we have been ineffective. May be that’s the way God wanted it to happen. We have to cultivate faith that whatever is happening in my life – good or bad – is for my ultimate benefit. The believers in God are trained to put their trust in the power of unseen and wait for the the rewards in the afterlife.

This life is just a tip of an iceberg that we see. What we cannot see is that beneath this tip lies huge, hidden secrets of universe which we just cannot fathom with our limited worldly knowledge. There is something vast beyond our imagination. We are part of big play of God. This is true for each and every person around us and also for each natural element. There is a reason for every happening. We just get to see and experience the tip and feel pain. There is a big reason which we are not allowed (by God) to see and we feel miserable.

I have to learn that I cannot change others. I can change my attitude and look at the problem with a view to find something positive in it because negative thought will always pull me down. Every issue has two sides to it. Howsoever hard it may be, I have to find the positive aspect and focus on it to remain happy. Fox was clever. She called unreachable grapes sour and walked off retaining her pride.

Human Being has to be smarter and look for spiritual lessons and leanings from all bad happenings of life. It is up to me whether I want to keep those hurtful words / painful situations in my memory or learn from them and move on with life. I cannot spend rest of my life in remorse or pain. Shake it off and press through this journey of life.

Enjoy your life experiences and company of diverse people you meet in the route. Remember, once we reach the destination, all will be over and done with. Performance of each and every one of us will be assessed. Not even a ‘tiny thought’ will be ignored. God is the ultimate JUDGE. Do not try to play HIS role.

God has given the ‘remote control’ of my life in my hands. I cannot give its control in someone else’s hands and go out of control myself. I have to learn to control my thoughts, emotions and feelings wisely as per my own inner divine guidance that God has filled me up with. I cannot let others influence it. I have to let me be myself and express my inner goodness wherever needed and above all permitted (by the receiver). Sometimes people won’t let you do anything for them just because they have this huge ego about them. Leave them alone. They may accuse you of not helping them. Know that God has earmarked someone else to take care of them and relax.

Do not let any situation, person or relationship become so powerful in your life so as to make you lose your peace of mind. Take charge of your happiness in your hands. If you want to be happy no matter what the circumstances than none can snatch it from you. Just try to feel and behave like God in any given situation. Let the positive forces of Universe surround you always.

Vandana Ritik
New Delhi